Have you decided that the baby you have now will be your last? How do you get to the point of deciding to close up shop and stop having little ones? We chat with moms to find out how they knew they were done having babies.
Closing up shop
Some moms know they’re going to have four kids, and others know they’re happy with just one. Others keep the option open until nature takes over in the form of increasingly longer menstrual cycles and eventual menopause. But some know that the last baby they had is definitely their last. We talked with real moms to find out what was behind their decision to close up the baby-making shop.
Probably the most commonly cited reason for knowing a family is complete is financial in origin. Robyn from Canada told us, “We want to provide the best for the three that we have instead of stretching us thin by having another.” Jolene, also the mother of three, agreed completely. “I want to be able to give my kids a certain lifestyle and having any additional children would hamper that,” she explained.
And other moms who struggled with infertility or had to rely on medical assistance to get pregnant felt that the financial chances of going through that again were slim. “I knew we were done because after several failed clomid cycles, three failed IUIs, one failed IVF, and one successful IVF with ICSI and assisted hatching we simply couldn't afford to do it again,” shared Niki from Indiana. “I'm not saying that I wouldn't do it again in a heartbeat if we had the money, but realistically we can't afford it. Lucas is the best investment we ever could have made though and I'm so grateful to have him.”
Another common reason that families feel they are complete are medical issues, either on the part of Mom or the children she already has. “We're done because I don't want to risk another placental abduction,” said Lindsey from Texas. “I was very lucky to be at the hospital when it happened. Odds increase on having another one once you've had one, which increases the odds of fetal death.”
Done with the baby phase
Some moms were happy to leave the baby phase behind, and to grasp new freedoms as their children grew more independent and secure. “After having an incredibly high-needs baby that shrieked and hollered for the first 10 months of her life (incessantly), I just don't have it in me to parent another baby,” explained Vicki, mom of two. “Both my kids sleep through the night now, and we're just getting back into having time for ourselves. I'm ready to have a little bit of freedom again.”
Comfortable with the future
Other moms told us that the number of children in their family, whether it be one or six, simply felt right to them. “I am still young, yes, but the reason I think we are done or 'complete' is because I feel comfortable in seeing the future with just my two girls,” shared Danielle from the Bahamas.
The answer definitely isn’t the same for every family, and if you never feel like you’re done, you’re not alone either. And surprises can crop up when least expected, changing your plans as well. There is no right answer, and that is perfect for every family.