Getting back into the swing of sex after you give birth can be a little scary. It's hard to imagine that you'll have fun after pushing a baby out of such a delicate area, especially if you were cut or torn. Yikes. Furthermore, you're probably exhausted and sex (over sleep!) is the last thing on your mind.
That said, post-pregnancy sex doesn't have to be worrisome, can help you connect with your partner, and it may even be fun. Try these tips...
Take your time: At your six week postnatal appointment, your midwife or doctor will likely give you the sex go-ahead. That doesn't mean you have to go home and jump into bed though. This is just a guideline. If you're not comfortable and ready, don't go there.
Try some wine, lighting, and lube: Even if you're breastfeeding a
glass of wine or one beer is ok and may help you relax - if you do drink, and you're breastfeeding,
feed your baby first. Light some candles which will allow for romantic gazes without full light (great if you're not yet comfortable with your post-pregnancy body). Lube is a big deal in the aftermath of birth. After you give birth it can take a while for your natural vaginal lubrication to return to normal. Try something super slick but not full of icky chemicals like
Sensua Organics - which by the way comes in yummy flavors like raspberry and peach.
Don't sweat your body: During pregnancy
your body changed, and sadly, it's not ever going to be exactly the same. However, keep in mind that a real partner, a loving partner will recognize that you just gave birth to their baby - an ultimate act of togetherness - which yes, is sexy.
Practice your kegels and consider a little wrapping. You can wear a longish sexy top which may help you feel better about getting your groove on while not showing off every little new imperfection you think you have. Lastly, your partner is seriously just going to be thrilled to get some lovin' - your post-baby body won't be the main issue.
Leaking milk issues!: If you're breastfeeding, you may be worried that you'll leak milk during sex. Way to kill the mood right? Not always though - your partner may not mind. If you're really stressed get a
super adorable nursing bra, one that will help set the mood.
Get a sitter and head to a hotel: Post-baby sex at first can be strange because now there's a new little noise maker in the house. To get back in the sex game, I suggest snagging a sitter, and heading elsewhere. Benefits - no interruptions, you can concentrate on the two of you, and honestly, you deserve a night out.
DO NOT FORGET: Birth control.
Breastfeeding can ward off conception, but it's not technically
birth control. Plenty of mamas have found this out the hard way. Unless you want your
babies closely spaced, make sure you investigate your birth control options before the big night. Also remember to
practice safe sex especially if you dont have a long-term partner.
What if you want sex stat!: On the flip side (see above) there are some couples who feel closer, and ready for sex sooner than that six week mark (see above). Ask your health care provider if you can have sex earlier if you want. Usually if your cervix has healed and the
lochia has stopped you may get a green light. Go you!
