In my opinion the best mamas only give advice when asked or when it's seriously necessary. Too many parents just toss advice at you like it's going out of style, which is
so damn annoying. All parents make mistakes, all parents learn as they go, and lame petty advice all the time is unnecessary.
For example, don't comment on issues like...
- How your friend organizes her onesies.
- If she bottle feeds instead of breastfeeds - you can give your thoughts on why YOU breastfeed, you can offer advice if she asks, but never put down her decision, that's so not cool.
- If she wants to work and you think stay-at-home mamas rock.
- Her choice of toys, books, and other products.
All of the above need no real discussion. Yeah, breastfeeding is a big deal (to some of us), but really, the above issues are small potatoes and not worth being annoying about or loosing a pal over.
However, there are those time when advice may be needed. For example... Your friend doesn't wash her hands after changing her baby or she doesn't put sunscreen on her baby when the two of you are out. If you've got a pal who makes minor mistakes that are easy to correct, you can try some do what I do advice. For instance; you're both at the park and you sunscreen your tot up. Hand her the sunscreen and say, "
Hey do you need some for your little one?" With smaller issues it's good to just make an example of yourself vs. pointing out, "
OMG you're totally doing it WRONG!" This helps to keep you from seeming like a pain in the a** and your pal gets a tip. You can also offer non-threatening advice via books or other print literature - or even online literature. Don't force, but there's nothing wrong with saying, "I read this great article on benefits of baby sunscreen yesterday, do you want the link?"
WHEN YOU REALLY NEED TO BUTT IN: There are also a few times when you should always, hands down, butt in and give advice. Save these times for biggie issues like...
- She seems depressed and you suspect postpartum depression.
- She's in an abusive relationship.
- She gives her baby a food choking hazard.
- She smokes around her baby.
- God forbid she doesn't use a car seat for her baby.
If someone could be seriously hurt ALWAYS butt in. Be supportive and helpful then even be pushy and annoying. It's better to help your friend and her baby out before something terrible happens.
Hyper advice giving mamas can suck, but they're not the only baddies in the bunch. See more annoying mamas:
Are you one of those mamas who always offers advice, or do you usually save it for big issues?
