For Many Moms, The Decision To Stay Home With Baby Or Go Back To Work Is A Tough One. Even If Your Best Intentions To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom Have You Missing Your Career, Or, If You Planned On Working But Your Heart Strings Are Pulling You Towards Hom
The first thing you need to do when deciding if you should stay home with baby is to create a budget. Read, "Can you afford to be a stay-at-home mom?, to help you decide if your family can live on one income.
If you are lucky enough to have a choice, here are some issues you may want to consider when trying to decide whether to stay home with Baby or go back to work.
Emotional needs
There’s no doubt that guilt is a given when it comes to motherhood. Sometimes it may feel like you are making the wrong decision no matter which path you choose to take. "It’s always a guilty trip; if I work I feel guilty because I’m not with my kids,” shares Tania Luviano, Rancho Santa Fe, CA. “If I don’t work or say no to a work project a feel guilty because I’m not giving 100% to my career.”
Take stock of your emotional needs to help you figure out what’s best for you. Ask yourself these questions: Do you need to maximize time with your baby? Can you emotionally handle taking the passenger seat in the income department? How do you feel about your career momentum? Do you need time away from baby talk?
Regardless of your decision, take pride in the choice you make and know that if your feelings change, can always reassess the situation at that time.
Time management
When you become a parent, time to yourself is greatly reduced, if not eliminated all together. It’s also likely that you’ll be getting a lot less sleep. Before you make a decision, you may want to consider how you will manage your day-to-day responsibilities.
How well do you function with sleep deprivation? Can you handle the pressure to fire on all cylinders while juggling home and work? How do you feel about running errands after work and on the weekends? Will your job support you if your baby gets sick? Do you have support at home if your job requires overtime?
Everyone is different, and it is up to you to decide what is the ideal situation is for you.
Priorities
Take a moment to consider what your priorities are. “When my son was born, I felt emotionally drawn to stay home with him,” says Sarah W. Caron, Sandy Hook, CT. “With my daughter, I wanted to stay home but felt pulled to go back to work. We needed my income and I loved my job ... after six months back, though, I quit to stay home because I wanted to be with my kids.”
Do you want to reach your career goal sooner? How do you feel about spending all day with your sweet pea? Do you crave adult-interaction? Is attending Mommy-and-me class important to you? How would you feel if you missed your darling’s “firsts?”
Grab a good old fashioned pencil and paper and start listing to put things in perspective.
Trust
Trusting your most precious cargo to someone other than yourself or your partner is an issue with which many moms struggle. Here are a few things to consider when making your own decision.
Do you have someone you trust for your daycare needs? Will a family member be looking after your newborn? Do you feel that the only one you trust to help care for you child is you or your partner? How much can you rely on your partner to help with caring for the kids? Does your employer offer onsite daycare?
Still unsure? You may have more options than you think. Consider arrangements like daycare close to your work or staggering your work hours so you or your partner can care for your sweetie pie yourselves.
Check out: Affordable childcare options for baby
Best of both worlds
Explore your options to see if perhaps you can swing part-time with both worlds. According to Working Mother magazine’s recent "Best Companies for Hourly Workers" list, the top three companies to work for are CCLC in Portland, Oregon, Marriott International in Bethesda, Maryland, and McDonald’s USA in Oak Brook, Illinois.
If you’re worried about losing your benefits or want to keep your career momentum going, inquire with your employer about telecommuting options or job sharing opportunities.
Whatever you ultimately decide, “Everything the mom feels the baby also takes on, so it is crucial that no matter what the choice the mother takes full responsibility, feels her best about it, and does the best she can to balance self care with taking care of her little-one,” advises Elisabeth Manning, National Certified Spirit and Creation Coach.
And, that is the most important gift you can give your child, regardless of your final decision.
More tips for moms:
-Life after baby: Should you return to work?
