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Joshua Coleman, PhD

 

Your question:I have been going through different infertility treatments for Almost two years now. I'm feeling like it's time to just give up. My husband -- who doesn't have to have the injections, nor any procedures not involving a cup -- is adamant that we keep trying. Obviously this is causing stress and resentment. How can we handle this without just making it worse?

The expert answers:My experience in working with couples who struggle with this issue is that they can become stalemated when they don't feel understood -- or worse, feel hurt -- by the other.

So, the first thing is to have a conversation together where you can both feel deeply understood. It's critical that you feel like your husband knows why you want to give up on trying to have a baby and has some empathy for that.

 

Pick a time when the two of you are feeling calm and close and try to have a heart-to-heart about it. Take turns empathizing and reflecting each other's perspective. This is not the time or place to convince the other of the "rightness" of each of your perspectives.

Generally, when both members of a couple feel deeply understood and cared about, they are able to move to a more productive compromise.PregnancyAndBaby.com

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