Unflattering Side Effects Of Pregnancy
According to Heidi Murkoff, co-author of What to Expect When You're Expecting, "It doesn't seem quite fair to accuse your hormones of causing every bloat, blemish and emotional outburst during your pregnancy. But…everything that's happening to your body these days — both the good and the not-so-good — can be pinned on them." So, now I know why, but that doesn't prepare you for what's to come.
Although my pregnancy experience was relatively positive, there were definitely a few surprises along the way. From morning sickness to extra hair everywhere, not everything about the joys of pregnancy is a joy. Here are a few things I wish some moms would have shared with me:
If I eat one more cracker, I'm going to puke
Ah, morning sickness, or all-day sickness for some. I was told that the magical solution to curb my rollercoaster tummy was crackers. Well, by day three of morning sickness misery, I couldn't think of anything that would make me feel more like tossing my cookies than a stinkin' cracker. Luckily, I soon figured out that keeping a bowl of grapes on my nightstand was the key. From midnight hunger pangs to early morning nausea, popping a few grapes in my mouth before even lifting my head from the pillow kept the baby bile at bay.
Was there hair there before?
It is hard not to notice every little change to your body when you are with child, especially when the changes are covering your belly and chest in the form of peach fuzz. You can breathe a sigh of relief that you will likely shed this new fur coat once the baby is born. If you cannot wait, treat yourself to a belly and/or chest wax at a spa or salon and try and have comfort knowing that you're not the only one (ah, hem!).
"You're getting so big!" is so not a compliment
Brace yourself – everyone you encounter will suddenly start putting their foot in their mouth. Just because you're expecting, people give themselves license to comment on your size, weight gain and general
appearance. I get that they are excited for you, but come on, people, use a little bit of sensitivity when choosing your comments while I lug around this "you're really starting to pop out" belly!
I have to go now, and midnight, and 2 a.m. …
You probably expect to visit the lavatory more now you are pregnant, but be prepared to go all night long, too! Anne Sanchez of Rancho Cucamonga, CA, in her second trimester, says, "It seems that no matter how much or how little I drink before bedtime, I still find myself up half the night making trips to empty my bladder. I thought that you aren't supposed to be up all night until the baby was born!" Perhaps it's your body's way of prepping you for life post pregnancy? Regardless, prepare to spend half the night in the little girls' room.
Please back away from the belly
Believe it or not, there are lots of people out there just waiting to feel you up. Well, your belly, that is. For some reason, strangers in the mall would approach me and rub my baby bump as if I enjoyed it --
without even asking! So, if you're the modest type or just are not into being pet by every person that walks by, find a nice way to say "back off." Or, practice your most annoyed stare and hope they get the message and retreat from your tummy.
Somebody grab me a doughnut ... pillow
Sorry, there's no delicate way around this one. Not even my own mother warned me about the hemorrhoids that can occur when you are pregnant. Although not something you talk about every day, you can now consider yourself warned and prepare to make yourself comfortable. Invest in an inflatable tube. If you don't need it now, you probably will after your vaginal delivery, anyway.
Despite the surprises, ask any mom – she'd definitely do it all over again. Just think, what's un-fun now will be special soon. You can't beat that!