You know, lots of people give you advice when you're pregnant or a new mama. Some of this advice is useful, some, well, not so much. Then, there are the things no one seems to mention. For example, you might break down and cry, just like your new baby.
You don't have to have depression to have a mini-breakdown, and trust me I had many. The two I remember most clearly were as follows: Breakdown one: I was still in the hospital, bed bound with post pregnancy complications, my son was two days old, and it was 3am. He was crying and I couldn't get him to latch on right for breastfeeding. I hit the nurse button a million times and nothing! I asked my passed out partner for help, who didn't respond. I threw everything I could reach at my sleeping partner while holding my screaming baby, and that damn new dad, he STILL didn't wake up! After that I just started sobbing. SOBBING. Finally the nurse came in and helped me to get my son eating, but I felt terrible. Two days in and already I sucked as a mama. Of course things looked brighter in the morning after some much needed sleep. Breakdown two: One week in, my stupid ex mother-in-law came to visit. She scowled about the untidy house, scowled that I held my son all wrong, and pretty much was a pain from the start. After about two hours in my house, she looks at my partner (her son) and says, "Oh, dear, you look sooooooo tired, being a new dad is hard right?" Then looks at me and says, "It would probably help if someone did the laundry around here."I silently handed the baby to my partner, walked into the bathroom, and yup, burst into tears. Were those my only new mama breakdowns? Heck no. I had lots. BUT contrary to what television and movies would have you believe, it's not that uncommon. While the media can pain a pretty rosy picture of motherhood, the reality is that it's super hard work. Also, just because you have some mini breakdowns, it doesn't mean you need to right away assume postpartum depression or metal health issues. My point: Sometimes, you just lose it but people act like you shouldn't. Most of the time I was happy, fine, and perfectly ok, but I always felt guilty when I lost it. It's normal to have a few mini-break downs and nothing to feel guilty long-term about. Now keep in mind that some new mama breakdowns may in fact be depression that needs immediate assistance. Learn about the real signs of postpartum depression.