Valerie Davis Raskin, MD
My baby is three months old now, and I'm still not ready for sex. I'm home all day, taking care of our son, and by the end of the day, lovemaking is about the last thing on my mind. Is this just the way motherhood is going to be?
Valerie Davis Raskin, MD, says:
Not if I can help it! Low sexual appetite is normal during some phases of childrearing, but it is not inevitable. Alas, you're right smack in the middle of the most common dry spell: the postpartum period. Let me assure you that, at that first postpartum visit, many women wish their obstetricians would give them a permission slip excusing them from sex. In fact, by four months postpartum, one fifth of new parents haven't had sex even once.
My first advice would be to relax about the issue -- knowing that it isn't an inevitable part of motherhood may help you and your husband communicate about the issue with less worry and blame. Second, stop thinking about sex as something done at the end of the day. On a day that your husband isn't at work, try making love during the baby's first morning nap. Your body will be less tired and more responsive. If vaginal dryness is an issue (common with breastfeeding, for example), use a lubricant such as KY Jelly or Astroglide liberally.