Dear Just Add Baby: For years, we've often hosted dinner parties for friends and co-workers. But now that I'm six months pregnant, I'm getting tired of it and don't want to play hostess right now. I don't even want people coming to my house. I've been putting up with this for the past couple months because if I say anything, my husband will think I'm being unreasonable. Help!
Penelope: First off, -- you're not being unreasonable. You're being normal!
Andi: Yes! Physical exhaustion aside, pregnancy also takes an emotional toll. Almost every facet of your life will be changing in just a few months, and it's normal -- so normal -- to find yourself retreating from your "old life" as your pregnancy draws to a close. As each of my pregnancies progressed, I found myself increasingly annoyed with any obligation that wasn't directly related to my pregnancy or much-anticipated baby.
Penelope: What you're starting to feel is that nesting instinct. Everyone has heard about that -- it's also known as that late-pregnancy cleaning urge that kicks in shortly before birth. But I think a lot of nesting really starts a lot earlier, like around when you start feeling your baby move inside you. When you start building that bond and talking to that little wiggly one inside, your sense of what's real and what's important changes. You start "feathering your nest," so to speak.
Andi: As the reality of this new being sinks in with each passing day, it seems the activities, events and issues that once seemed so consuming are suddenly trivial and not worth the effort. Normal!
Penelope: You really need to talk to your husband. It might seem hard to do, but it's better to do now, before resentment builds up too much.
Penelope: As much as we might want to, most of us can't
just stop the world and get off. But you should feel free to indulge
your baby obsession and opt out of that which drains your time and
energy. Pregnancy is a good time to find others in the same mode.
Andi: Chalk it up to hormones. Having a baby is an intense transition -- unarguably one of the most profound events of any person's existence! Retreating from the world to the land of baby blissville is Mother Nature's way of preparing us for it as best she can.
Penelope: As much as we might want to, most of us can't just stop the world and get off. But you should feel free to indulge your baby obsession and opt out of that which drains your time and energy. Pregnancy is a good time to find others in the same mode.
Andi: Try logging onto PregnancyandBaby.com's message boards to meet moms who are due the same time as you. You also can attend a local La Leche League meeting or attend childbirth and newborn care classes to meet some local moms and moms-to-be.