Something I hear often from mamas to be is, "I don't need a doula because I already have a partner/husband/boyfriend...
Something I hear often from mamas to be is, "I don't need a doula because I already have a partner/husband/boyfriend who will be helping me during labor." This argument sounds logical and it's obviously good and fine to have your partner at your labor and birth, however, before you slash the idea of a doula forever, know that a partner, even an excellent partner, is not the same as a doula. If you haven't heard of birth doulas then read what is a birth doula, then come back. Why you need a doula: The doula is not simply at your labor to make it easier for you, she's there for your partner as well. A doula benefits both you and your partner in many ways, for example... She provides your partner a chance to rest. Men, in my experience, appear to get more worn out by labor than the actual woman laboring (no joke). Look at a few pictures of your friends taken right after the baby arrives - who looks worse then woman or man? In most cases the fella will look 100% spent. I'm not sure why this is, but I'm guessing that it's hard to be the guy and see your lady go through labor. Also, I don't think men have the same adrenaline push as women going throughout labor. In any case an overly tired guy is no help to his partner. With a doula the man can step aside for a little, catch his breath and come back fully ready to help. She's on top of it so you don't have to be. I'm a total natural birth advocate as was my son's dad. I went to college for nursing, was training to be a midwife, and am utterly obsessed with birth issues so I'm knowledgeable about most labor and birth situations. I was even a doula for other women, but when it came down to my personal labor and birth all that know-how went right out the window alarmingly fast. My labor was long, painful, and hard. I forgot most stuff I thought I knew and couldn't focus on anything but me second by second. My partner, also smart about birth, lost it too. A doula ensures you don't have to remember all that important birth and labor stuff, she'll remember it for you. For example, she'll remind you what the risks of an epidural are or remind you how to breathe properly. She's a great advocate. A doula is there to be the best birth partner for your personal situation and will advocate for you regardless of how tired, frustrated, or upset you and your partner get. She will stay upbeat when the going gets rough and help you to relax. Another helper in the room can be very calming to a frantic guy and your doula will also help you get attention from a nurse if you need it and can help get rid of unwanted labor room visitors. Remember research shows that a good doula also seriously lowers rates of birth interventions and complications. Research does not say the same about male partners, such as husbands or boyfriends. She's a woman. There are male doulas but as much as I like to advocate that genders can do anything, I really think a female doula is best. As a woman going through labor and birth it can be very comforting to have another woman there. In my experience a woman can read another females cues better and can provide a sense of calm that even the VERY best male partner can't. To sum up. A good birth doula is never ever there to take the place of your partner, she's simply there to provide support for both of you. Labor and birth are usually very large events in the lives of a couple, so why not have more support so that you have extra assurance that your labor and birth will also be a successful positive event as well? Find a birth doula.

Tags: birth doulas do you need a doula labor and childbirth question mama rights medication-free labor and birth natural pain relief pain relief during labor


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