How Do You Feel About Baby Showers For Women Who Are Already Moms?
How do you feel about baby showers for women who are already moms?
A fellow writer and friend of mine, Naomi de la Torre, wrote a great article titled How to throw a baby shower for a third time mom over at SheKnows parenting. In it, she offers suggestions for baby shower "themes" for third time moms such as making a birth necklace as a group for the expectant mom or painting the expectant mom's belly. I loved the ideas. They allow the mom-to-be to celebrate her pregnancy and soon-to-be baby with her closest friends and family. To me, that's what it should be all about. A friend threw a lovely shower for my first baby. It was incredibly nice and so much fun. She hosted lunch at my favorite restaurant and I talked and laughed with a group of wonderful women. We celebrated me becoming a mom to my son through adoption. My incredibly generous friends really did shower me with gifts. And then an aunt threw another baby shower for me where more family and friends once again celebrated with me and supported me. They also showered me with gifts. Both showers were incredibly thoughtful and I felt so fortunate and special. We adopted our daughter barely over a year later. Before she came home, a few people asked if I would be honored at another baby shower and my answer was always, "Of course not!" Someone even offered to host one, but I did my best to graciously decline. In my mind, you were spoiled for your first baby and that was it. While I've worked to "update" my thinking, I'm still stuck in the mindset that a new mom is showered with gifts for her first baby, but not her second or third or fourth... For women who have children who are spaced out significantly (and to me, significantly isn't four or five years. It's a lot -- like ten!), I can understand having a second shower. But for women like myself who have children within a reasonable amount of years (or months!), I would only feel comfortable being celebrated at a no-gift shower. And that's exactly why I like the ideas in Naomi's article -- ways to celebrate a second time, third time (or fourth or fifth time!) mom-to-be and her baby without making it about "things." I know that my thinking on repeat baby showers is old school. I truly do. But I wouldn't be comfortable being the celebrated mommy at a baby shower that involved gifts after my first baby. >>So, modern mamas (I'm probably stuck in the past on this one and I know it!), what do you think? Baby showers for second and third time babies: Yes or no? And why? What about baby showers without gifts? Or does it matter? Share your thoughts!