Read along as Minsun, a 29-year-old screenwriter and freelance writer living in Los Angeles, chronicles her first pregnancy.
Minsun Park

There's a great deal of hype about the magical second trimester. Just about everyone from my doctor to my cleaning lady assured me that I would just spring out of bed one day and do cartwheels all the way to the breakfast table. Even my single girlfriends endorsed this theory (as if having an occasional late period made them pregnancy experts). And for once, everybody was right! I haven't given a digestive encore for the Ty-D-Bol man in seven wonderful days, and I'm so happy I could cry. Although I still get queasy moments, for the most part, I feel like my old self -- only bigger.

Now that I've reconciled myself to the "I'm not stupid, I'm just pregnant" phase, I have embarked on the "Uh, I'm not fat, I'm just pregnant" stage of this glorious condition. I'm too small for maternity clothes yet too big for my old clothes. Every day, I look longingly at the tiny, hip-hugger jeans in my closet and reach for the baggy drawstring anything instead. My new fashion statement is the "fat plumber meets rapper" look. Since I can't bear to wear anything around my bump, I wear my pants and skirts so low I'm constantly in danger of showing my butt cleavage. After hitching my pants up for the thousandth time, I started flipping through some pregnancy magazines in the desperate hopes of coming up with fashion inspiration.

After staring at page after glossy page of beautiful pregnant supermodel/actresses/whatever types, I heartily agree with F. Scott Fitzgerald's famous observation that, "the rich are different from you or I." Living in Los Angeles and working in the entertainment industry, celebrity sightings are a part of life. My biggest joys in life have been seeing Cameron Diaz and Gwyneth Paltrow doing errands. Not because I'm such a huge fan, but because without makeup their faces were splotchy and covered with zits. I love affirmations that these goddesses are mere mortals.

I recently sat next to Jodie Foster in a restaurant having breakfast with her baby boy. It was nice watching Jodie Foster as a single mom, feeding her baby and eating carbs like a real human being (a BLT with fries). She smiled at me, I smiled back, it was a nice fuzzy moment. But later, I read a quote in a magazine about regarding her pregnancy and I hated her instantly. Not only did she gain a mere 15 pounds, she says, "I didn't have a single bad moment. Really, it couldn't have been easier. I would do this professionally if only it paid better." Sheesh, talk about an overachiever. It's not bad enough she's an actress, producer and director she has to horn in on the surrogate mother job market too.

If you pay attention to pregnant celebrities in the news, being rich and fabulous means being able to sail through those nine months hygienically and photogenically while the unwashed masses waddle around in sweats and unkempt hair. It also means being able to deliver in luxury and comfort. Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles is the celebrity hospital because they offer deluxe maternity suites complete with a living room and dining room, hardwood floors, exquisite furniture, a computer and fax machine, robes, stocked refrigerator and mini-bar. Not to mention room service, a candlelight dinner for two and a personal doula.

I'm fully aware that money and fame don't buy happiness, but does it really, truly offer a reprieve from the other, ahem, unmentionable discomforts of pregnancy? For example, when Madonna was pregnant with Rocco did she ever feel, you know, not so fresh? Did she ever squirm through an interview with a ferocious yeast infection? And what about Jane Leeves from "Frasier?" Has she ever just let one rip during a scene, in front of the whole studio audience? Or don't pregnant celebrities fart?

Thandie Newton from "Mission Impossible" is pregnant now and looks glowingly beautiful in her tight designer dresses. Sure she looks great, but can she burp the alphabet? Did Catherine Zeta-Jones ever vomit into her handbag while overcome with morning sickness? Did Cindy Crawford ever read a magazine cover to cover during a particularly nasty bout of constipation? Damnit, these are the gory details inquiring minds, really want to know! Well, maybe only inquiring pregnant minds. Only the very old and the very pregnant find gastro-intestinal details completely riveting.

This month, supermodel Vendela is on the cover of "Fit Pregnancy" looking like a boa constrictor who just ate a baby goat. And I mean that in the best possible way. Her hair is lustrous, her skin is a glowing peaches and cream, her arms and legs are lean and lithe. Nowhere else is she pregnant except for her tummy. In contrast, my hair is frizzy, the only glow my skin has is the over-production of oil resulting in zits, and I swear my butt is pregnant too. I look like the Dancing Baby from "Ally McBeal." Yet, as disgusted as I am by these misleading glossy images, I cannot look away. I admit to being a hopelessly shallow person in pursuit of aesthetic beauty. I can't help but cling to the hope that if I wear the right outfit, massage enough cocoa butter into my skin and get enough exercise, maybe I too can look like a boa constrictor who just ate a baby goat.

I know that it's all smoke and mirrors requiring a staff with a physical trainer, a cook, a nutritionist, a personal hairdresser and a fashion stylist. But maybe the real prerequisite is having only one name like Madonna, Cher or Vendela. Unfortunately, Minsun doesn't have a pretentious enough ring to it. It rhymes too much with Dim Sum, sounds too much like monsoon and nobody, but nobody ever gets it right on the first try.

MinsunPregnancyAndBaby.com


recommended for you

Comments

andysbr November 15, 2014
锘縤cials can tell Media 12 the total amount they are really keeping.

Curtis is the institution snowboard member for Location Couple of, which is Collins Fundamental Course's region.

Any time Curtis was inquired whenever the woman notion the college really should be E 8-10, your lover answered, "No, because you have adolescent kids and it's really designers the lesser children."閿樼笅arents genuinely offended

A new African american History Thirty day period plan in a San antonio middle education often have backfired after a little mother and father complained that kids were inspired to play an audio lesson together with pro The president vocals.

The issue has been mentioned across the country by traditional airwaves communicate present contains, which are encouraging mothers and fathers for you to object when its your children's school made available identical programs.

At the same time, HISD introduced this proclamation in regards to the hot debate with Exclusive:

"The melody words of the song an individual been given had been during some sort of after school PTO software keeping Black Record Thirty day period at Katherine Mason Simple Classes. Learners exactly who was got brought in consent slips and slides using their mom and dad to join with this soon after classes party. People danced for the music and songs, yet would not play you aren't recite the lines. Replicates of your words of the song got towards the mothers and fathers, however, not the kids. This program had been sorted simply by several novice professors, which suddenly never grab the principal's approval to disperse the particular track verse. Following going over your vocals, the principal believes which will a number of the melodies were definitely extremely governmental and should not are actually contained in the syste<a href=http://rhand.org.tt/Uploads/nike/nike24737.html>air jordan vi 6 bright grape</a>m. Any academics exactly who synchronized this software are actually prompted in which materials similar to this ought to acquire prior agreement by way of t<a href=http://www.www.vakantieplaats.nl/application/language/template.php?moncler-heren-omlaag-hooded-jassen-blauw-1755-p-458.html>Moncler Heren omlaag Hooded Jassen blauw 1755 Nieuwste Verkoop Online</a>he main at some point. The primary apologizes to individuals who have recently been misinterpret by a few of your lyrics that have been inside the PTO plan."閿樼笅arents upon demo throughout random taking pictures fatality with tot

Some sort of Clarksville pair is definitely in trial offer to your death within their 2 year older daughter.Samantha Wallace told Private investigator Fred Tate this lady was a student in the opposite room in your home if Camron Your five year-old close friend terminated the actual .Fortyfive quality revolver, hammering her with




<a href=http://rhand.org.tt/Uploads/nike/nike24939.html>air jordan spizike black red yellow</a>
<a href=http://rhand.org.tt/Uploads/nike/nike15473.html>nike air max thea print sale</a>
<a href=http://rhand.org.tt/Uploads/nike/nike19226.html>nike dunk trainer mita for sale</a>
<a href=http://rhand.org.tt/Uploads/nike/nike22154.html>nike air max safari mint blue</a>
<a href=http://rhand.org.tt/Uploads/nike/nike20565.html>new mens nike shox size 12</a>
carpinteyrocst November 07, 2014
锘縐niversity in america, which often should expect to acquire their initial conventional grounds in america around Miami in the near future that will smartly assemble the Higher education from a tremendous situation for future years. CIT University or college subjects is designed by means of Ivy Little league scholars along with coders providing circumstance of your craft instructional podium and is also exceptional to any ever seen.Another Account (OXFC Marketing Leisure Profile)The particular OXFC Mass media Activity Collection has the diversified selection connected with marketing enjoyment providers. Oxford Community Around the clock television system programming which will broadcasted globally will probably characteristic the survive radio stations indicate "The Oxford Area Personal Report", handle each of Oxford Community specialist teams, and provide continuing selection.The final Stock portfolio (OXFC Real Estate Property Supervision Portfolio)This OXFC Real-estate Control Portfolio regulates some sort of varied portfolio for property together with Oxford Area Arena, Oxford City Indoors World, along with the Oxford Town 3G Teaching Ability. OXFC advantages from most of these services in practice plus in leasing profits.The 5th Account (OXFC Mergers Orders Stock portfolio)The particular Mergers as well as Buying Account consists of essentially the most knowledgeable value experts who seem to use incredible system to distinguish and have fairness positions in private in addition to open suppliers having infinite growth potential to convey huge synergies and cost to help Oxford City.Concerning<a href=http://www.life-makmetal.eu/en/license.php?nike-solarsoft-moccasin-men-cyan-orange-p-35.html>Nike Solarsoft Moccasin Men Cyan Orange</a> Jones Anthony GuerrieroOxford Town (OXFC) will be brought about by simply the Owner Manley Anthony Guerriero. Mister. Guerriero contains a new Masters Education via Stanford Higher education, maintains a couple of Grad Accreditations by Boston celtics College University associated with Notre Dame, and contains a pair of BA amounts coming from Fairleigh Dickinson University or college Manley Edison Talk about. He has got used quite a few experienced certificates throughout her profession Line 6, String Sixty three, Collection Sixty six, Line Twenty four hours licenses. Usually searching for a difficult task Mister. Guerriero may be a old expert little league competitor, rose two of the eight summits, ended up highlighted from a main mo



<a href=http://www.life-makmetal.eu/en/license.php?nike-lunarglide-5-suede-men-black-volt-p-167.html>Nike LunarGlide 5 Suede Men Black Volt</a>
<a href=http://www.life-makmetal.eu/en/license.php?nike-lunarglide-4-men-gray-cyan-p-194.html>Nike LunarGlide 4 Men Gray Cyan</a>
<a href=http://www.life-makmetal.eu/en/license.php?nike-air-max-95-dyn-fw-men-white-black-p-786.html>Nike Air Max 95 Dyn FW Men White Black</a>
<a href=http://www.life-makmetal.eu/en/license.php?nike-free-trainer-women-nike-free-trainer-c-27_28.html>Women Nike Free Trainer</a>
<a href=http://www.life-makmetal.eu/en/license.php?nike-air-max-2012-men-black-volt-p-1034.html>Nike Air Max 2012 Men Black Volt</a>