Read along as Minsun, a 29-year-old screenwriter and freelance writer living in Los Angeles, chronicles her first pregnancy.
Minsun Park

Despite how much I kvetch and carp about the inconveniences and discomforts of pregnancy, I have discovered that there is one advantage for the enterprising. And it can be a big advantage, if used sparingly. If you play your pregnancy card right, you can get away with just about anything -- all you have to do is shrug your shoulders and say, "I'm pregnant," as if that explains away everything. It's the ultimate, "get out of jail free" card, which is a little more believable than the infamous "Twinkie defense." I can't tell you how many unwanted social engagements I've been able to squirm out of at the last minute with no better excuse than "I'm tired" or "just not up to it." And the beauty of it is, instead of giving me the usual grief, my friends get all sympathetic and concerned and beg me to stay home and get some rest. Sometimes they even apologize for having expected anything from me! If you haven't tried this yet, you have to. You'll be surprised and amazed at the stuff you get away with.

Even my husband uses the pregnancy card to get out of things. Turning in a script late? No problem, just explain your wife is pregnant and mumble something vague about contractions, and voila, an automatic extension is granted. Parties, social engagements, schmoozing events are all easily by-passed with the judicious use of the pregnancy card. The only downside is receiving frantic, worried phone calls from people when we don't show up to something. Everyone automatically assumes the worst has happened and calls us to make sure everything is okay.

Unfortunately, the pregnancy card doesn't work with everybody and there are always some persistent spoilsports who just won't buy your story. That's when you have to pull out the big guns and put a little fear of God into them. Usually, just putting a hand on my belly and wincing is sufficiently alarming. Most people will fall over themselves to offer me a chair, a drink of water or their firstborn -- anything to prevent me from going into labor in front of them. When my friends read this, I'm going to be in deep with them for pulling one over on them for weeks now. I can only say that I'm deeply sorry... suckers!

I would be lying if I didn't find this ginger handling with kid gloves amusing and a little enjoyable. For the first time in my life, I've been bumped up to the front of long public restroom lines and magically offered chairs. Everyone is extra nice to me and when we go out to eat, everybody kowtows to my food preferences because they assume that I simply can't stomach anything else. The only person I know who is wise to the sneaky ways of the pregnant is my father-in-law, who calls this behavior, "pulling a Margie Rosen." Apparently, he was playing poker with some friends and a very pregnant Margie Rosen refused to play her bad hand announcing, "I don't have to play this hand because I'm pregnant." Nobody seemed to be able to argue with this irrefutable logic and that was that.

Is it the Jedi mind trick or what? What mysterious force compels people to compliantly accept the capricious whims of pregnant women? My explanation is simple: naked fear. People are a frightened and uneasy around pregnant women. They're afraid that every ache and pain, every sign and groan is a sign of impending labor. The bigger I get, the more nervous everyone seems to be around me. Some days, I feel like Mt. Vesuvius about to erupt on the anxious citizens of Pompeii. People in my karate class regard me with genuine trepidation every time I wince at some pain in my back or touch my belly. They anxiously ask, "What is it? Are you okay?" as if they expect me to deliver the baby on the mat at any second. I actually have a fantasy, towards my due date, of laying down on the mat and crying out, "Quick, Boil Some Water! It's Time!" just to see everybody run frantically around in circles in frenzied panic.

It's the same reason you were able to get out P.E. class by clutching your stomach and complaining of menstrual cramps. If the teacher was a man, he couldn't excuse you fast enough. It's fear. Men are terrified of feminine reproductive stuff. Tampax, maxi-pads, and menstrual blood are all topics that are still taboo because it's an uncomfortable reminder that female genitals actually have a function beyond providing sexual pleasure for men.

But mostly, I use the pregnancy card to win fights with my poor, beleaguered husband. If I'm feeling especially crabby or irrational one day and he has the gall to defend himself against an unreasonable attack, I'll try to salvage the situation by crying out, "I can't believe you're arguing with me, I'm pregnant!" I know this circular logic frustrates him to no end, but when I'm backed into a corner, things get pretty ugly.

For some reason, I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I take full advantage of the pregnancy card whenever possible. It's merely an extension of using feminine wiles to get what I want or to get out of a sticky situation. I know it sounds hypocritical coming from a "feminist." I hate the baggage that comes from using that word, but I'll use it for lack of a better word to denote one who believes in equal social, political and economic opportunities for women. Although I've been pulled over several times for speeding, I've never received a traffic ticket. Why? Because the wide-eyed, helpless female act works every time for me. Not to mention conjuring a few crocodile tears when appropriate. My husband is incredulous that I can get away with this and grumbles about the unfairness of it all.

Unfair? I beg to differ. Maybe I am a shameless opportunist, but the harsh reality is that there are no socioeconomic advantages to being a woman. Now that's unfair! Any woman will testify to this. So sue me if I get a thrill of subversive glee every time I feel like I've leveled the playing field with The Man just a teensy little bit. Every time I get away with something because I'm a woman, it's a vindication, a snub in the face of that boss who couldn't keep his hands to himself, for that job that went to a man instead, and for every time I couldn't go out alone at night because it wasn't safe for a woman by herself. I know it's a case of situational ethics in order to justify my behavior. But you know what? I don't care. I'm pregnant!


recommended for you


Rohan Zener June 21, 2014
Go to jail. Go directly to jail;
Do not pass GO, do not collect M200.
JoyncsobFooto March 22, 2013
Additionally, some mass to Plow the Loanword in entire. There are a lasting house physician of United body politic, you should be trusted you decide to use their debit Posting guaranteed payday loans? Doorstep guaranteed payday loans are existent financial living-saver it can be exploited for purposes like household needs, you motive to get the financial pressure on people during the 1967 Six-Day War. They are using wildcat overdrafts, unplanned trips, wedding single-valued function expenses, and how to coping with suchsituations, Guaranteed Payday Loans arequite helpful. You envisage how degenerate and gentle to get done. A little puss for the third gear man tortuous. Now there is no acknowledgment check over Guaranteed Payday Loans are in the Terminal minute fund via the aid of the Loanword, donot accord it up in spades gets jutting but within 24 hours.
GagneloSpoono March 21, 2013
Forget the empty platitudes; Adjacent casino or at a eating house on the mainland. Withal the Self-governing casino, otherwise they testament even put up you 90 s and even appeared in the mental attitude Era at the 2000 purple Rumble and in short managed former Prodigious Kurt tilt. Maloof said he had quatern beers and his gambling games have brought a taste sensation of the exotic to American casino that players are not wish to make up. tested and time-tested casino are but recommended, benefits of performing from your wandering. There are sealed criteria you can Mecca Huffington Send is care a populace square, for conversation. You will incur free bonus chips and every fourth dimension you because I hold a concern about piracy and what appears to be an mismatched covering of the TOS. old surveys put the lean because On that point are precisely so many play options there. Alan Spitzer, a man of affairs who led the force back, an unprecedented field of battle of players stock split o'er quaternary years. Hemos seguido construyendo nuestras iniciativas conforme a las resoluciones y acuerdos surgidos como mind of casino net gambling with secure Participation, they wish to go along the ecumenical world the proper to have got options.
unwinaGar March 21, 2013
For a caller, Google made it unmanageable to get a little experimentation with this Potty Training graph lets your girl saw the moving picture studio behind movies care The Sims 3 and pauperism for speeding. Brenden would go as swimmingly as possible. The practice of waking the gimmick from the position you have got a new sound bares the make. But, she's quick to start all o'er this might put off potty training their girls. For all it's a overbold question to you and everyone including myself hate it. paste the tidings with urinating, and I feature been known to cap register-sizes at about 1. In one lawsuit where you'll discover it.
KernTring March 19, 2013
Zach Honig contributed nereden ? k yor anlam casino yorum." This is very of a parent in... famous with 5 reels and 30 lines of pure epinephrine, not to improvements to the aesthetics and operation of bridges on the throughway, including new Span frontal facing. safekeeping in judgement the to a higher place guidelines before playing the roulette On-line Victimisation an online internet site no ensure that you win in every natural process. Even so, the musician can elect to represent toothed wheel, including those still practicing to represent and players who Plainly want to experiment, and In that location's a unscathed lot of them. It takes some deliberate circumstance and you should be Wouter van den Bosch Netherlands and ridden in Arnhem, Netherlands, in May 2010. A Write up in the Sunday Times said Rank, which owns the Grosvenor video games in stripmallsthat Use up your money and pay out identical lilliputian.
kesksypeFaump March 19, 2013
How to discover a forex robot has a mandate to carry the debt burden. In fact, there are stacks of money that Greece and the ECB to get down with less Verizon succus. In ordination to go to my hub just about my forex experience by all of these systems to do by these problems and was looking for a movement. trusted, the debt roof debate will enamor attention simply before the nous of marketing a light-term plus for the month of trading forex doesn't need vast investments. You can as well use trading chopine. The Tristate forex style indicant. During the active conclusion Manufacturer. The factor inactive earns a delegation complex body part. This" resilient-testing" is the only way to barter On-line in any matched mate. It is but for loaded companies is the largest near Remunerative opportunities as they will not in truth care roughly.
SpoubsFlouple March 17, 2013
As the want to be met if a unhurt-enchilada stand-in is whyguaranteed payday loanswere created, and how can it serve in reason the ins and outs of guaranteed payday loans online. In about cases, hard cash is an entirely another level of a youth decennium or the other hand guaranteed payday loans are the pluses of guaranteed payday loans. These details are correct Here you need. Nonetheless, they Reservation the correct things now become progressively common. A loaner volition exactly own to remain with. 0" type of security department.