Why I can't forget I'm pregnant
This has been one of those crazy weeks where I've been so busy with work and life in general it would be easy to forget I am even pregnant. In fact, the past week is such a blur, I think I would have forgotten all about it, except for three things:
1. Could I be more hungry?! It's amazing how much food a pregnant mama can put away. But, oh, the heartburn. Another thing that kept me forgetting about being pregnant. Maybe there should be four things on this list!
2. How huge I am feeling. I guess I don't look all that big. But then some say I do. We took a picture of me this week with the digital camera and when I printed off the shot, I couldn't believe I didn't look any bigger than that! Reaction to my size from The Public is a mixed bag. Sometimes people will say I'm not showing much for being due in February. Then I'll turn around and the very next person is wondering how much more growing I could possibly do in the next four months. Honestly, I think people just have no CLUE what a pregnant woman is supposed to look like at any given stage. Even when a woman has been pregnant herself, it hardly makes her an authority on appropriate fundal height at 24 weeks LMP. It's enough to make me wonder why people bother to assess tummy size during the course of casual conversation. Remind me please not to do that anymore. ;-)
Well, whether I look huge or not, it's enough that I'm feeling that way. It's certainly harder to get around these days and much more painful, too. It's a little daunting to be going through this for the third time and knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that this is going to get worse before it gets better. I'm already remembering how foolish it is to take putting pantyhose on while standing up so completely for granted. But, for all of my whining, I love how my tummy juts out. I will sincerely miss my childbearing years and I do feel some sadness at the thought that I will never be pregnant again (not enough to plan another one, however!).
3. The baby! The beauty of all this hugeness is that my baby is getting big enough that I can actually touch him/her :-). Not only did Bailey get to feel a well-placed kick on the palm of her hand this week (about which I was more excited than she was), but I have been able to feel all manner of knees and elbows and heels... rolling and kicking up quite a good time in there. I'm spending a lot more time thinking about who this baby is going to be; how s/he will fit into our family dynamic. Will this baby be a snuggler or an active and independent little cuss? I watch the two beautiful children I've been so blessed with and wonder at their rich and distinct personalities. Can a third baby come from this same pool of genes and be so completely different from the two we already have? Of course, on an intellectual level, I know this is possible, even likely. But it's still so hard to imagine what this new little person will be like.
I sure can't wait to find out!