M i s e r a b l e
That's right... I'm starting to reach That Point. At first I thought maybe baby had moved into a weird postion that made me feel especially uncomfortable, but I finally concluded that there was some growth spurt action and this is just the way it's going to be from here on out. At this point, the baby is very much in my ribs... they feel constantly bruised. And I've graduated to two doses of Zantac per day, which I was trying so hard to avoid, but I just can't live with constant heartburn. Ugh.
Also, my RITUAL of reading in bed before I go to sleep is NOT comfortable anymore. I can last for about 10 minutes before my tailbone and ribs start to ache from the half-reclined position. WAH! I'm such a spoiled brat. Like there will be any prebedtime reading ritual after the baby is born. Only prebedtime nursing rituals!
Then, of course, there's that pubic separation thing. The other night I slept so soundly that I stayed in the same position (on my left side) for most of the night... about 5.5 hours total. My joints were so stiff and my pubic bone SO sore that I was paralyzed with pain as I tried to roll over. I literally got stuck halfway over!
It's funny how during the first trimester I would have given anything to have the constant reassurance of being able to touch my baby and feel him/her moving around, but the reality is that when I get to the point when I can do that (like now), there are so many miseries to contend with! I forgot all about that part. The second trimester really is a blissful state.
A couple weeks ago, 12 weeks seemed just around the corner! I was just commenting to Tony last night that suddenly 10 weeks sounds like an ETERNITY. Especially if I continue to feel like this or *worse* :-P. Still, I know I'll always cherish this, because even having been through it all twice before, I seemed to have forgotten the worst of the miseries and only remembered the good stuff when I wasn't pregnant anymore. I'm sure I'll do that again! I keep telling myself to savor this last pregnancy, but it's simply impossible to savor feeling like crap (except I AM grateful that it's not worse... I know it could be!). :-)
I am very stressed out by Christmas preparations this year. I was determined to just go with the flow and NOT get stressed, but it's not working out that way. Sigh. I thought I was ahead of the game, but it seems there is just more and more to do. I don't think I'll be sending out cards at all this year. I've procrastinated so long in getting the girls in for holiday portraits that now it's way too late. Aside from a few presents yet to buy, I have everything purchased, wrapped and hidden away. Tony and I spent six hours on Saturday night wrapping presents, a chore I'm embarrassed to admit that neither one of us particularly enjoys.
And in the upcoming two weeks, we have so many obligations that I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Tony cringed when I used that word the other day, saying this is supposed to be fun stuff. He called me scrooge (sniff). I thought that took some nerve, considering that I have to nag him to help me out... if I didn't take the initiative or nag, he most certainly wouldn't take care of these holiday things (present buying, wrapping, cards, studio photos, decorating, baking, etc.). In fact, the things I've decided I don't have time to do are simply not going to get done thank-you-very-much-I-rest-my-case! Anyway, after getting lambasted for not understanding or trying to be supportive, he agreed that between my workload and the third trimester, it is reasonable for me to feel that the holidays are more of a nuisance than a joy.
I still feel like a scrooge, though. He's right that I have a bad attitude (he's just not allowed to comment on it!).