Monday was an incredibly stressful day and for once it had nothing to do with pregnancy. Well, I suppose it did really. My phone rang off the hook solidly with clients today. The reality that I'm going on leave soon seemed to finally hit with a vengeance and everyone wants me to do EVERYthing before the baby comes. Well, that is just not going to happen. The worst part is how crabby I am about it all. I'm having a very difficult time reining in my impatience with people in general.
I've come to the conclusion that a 39 weeks pregnant woman should not even be allowed to interact with customers. The fact that I'm dealing with prodromal labor on a physical level is doing a lot to pull me so completely inward on an emotional level. It's hard for me to care about anything but giving birth right now. I am fortunate to have an understanding boss. For this week, I'm available to them for questions and still working to tie up loose ends on pending projects, but I'm doing it all from home and not taking calls or meeting with clients. That is an immense burden off my shoulders!
A pretty dull appointment with my midwives this week :-). That's always a good thing. The good news about the prenatal is that last week baby was ROA and still floating and this week (I can even tell you exactly when it happened because it was a rather painful experience) the baby is LOA and head feels "firmly engaged." I definitely feel the increased heavy feeling in my pelvis. But of course it still doesn't really mean much in terms of how imminent labor is or anything.
I kept saying, so what can I DO to keep the baby in that great position?? And if baby is REALLY firmly engaged, it's not likely to pop back out, right?? LOL... even though I knew the answers to these questions (of course *anything* can happen, but odds are good that baby will stay put as solidly as s/he has descended), I was just hoping the answers might be different for ME. I want a guarantee, dammit.
We decided I'd probably go into labor the next night (I didn't) since there was freezing rain in the forecast and the midwives live about 40-50 miles away. Hormones and prodromal labor are doing a real number on me, because I'm not even to my due date yet and I already despair that my baby will ever be born. Eek... I'm in big trouble if I do go overdue. I keep watching Bailey and HM running around, at almost three and almost four and think to myself, "SEE, they DO get born." I won't still be pregnant three or four years from now.
Any minute now?
Speaking of the prodromal labor, I started having some doozy contractions on Monday. They kind of ebb and flow and are definitely more of the same prodromal stuff, just turned up a notch.
Then, since Thursday, I've been feeling weird. Real hard to put my finger on it, but something is up. Since that time, I've been feeling a LOT of pelvic pressure and cervix twinges. and I can tell baby has descended further because the rib pressure is gone. Also about that time, the Braxton Hicks started to increase a little in intensity and frequency. In fact, the "feeling" that something is up was so strong that I called one of my midwives to give her a heads up and let her know that while it might not be that night (and it sure as heck wasn't), I had a feeling it would be in the next couple days. She thinks it's going to be soon. We'll see.
I've also been having frequent spells of contractions off and on. They seem to get steadier through the night (about 5-7 minutes apart on average), but they don't last very long... maybe 30 seconds at most. I'm still having those, but they are pretty easy to live with, so obviously it's VERY early stages. With each contrax, I'm having lots of stabbing cervix pains. I like that ;-). Anyway, if this is like what I had with HM, I could go for several days (weeks?!) off and on like this. Apparently being in a really bad mood when real labor begins is a prequisite for me to have a baby.
I went to the library earlier this week for some good escapism fiction to try and get my mind off labor/baby/etc. (nothing looked good either, but I grabbed a few books... hopefully I'll get in the mood). When I was checking them out, the librarian bumped my tummy a tiny bit with the books and apologized all over herself... "Oh, I'll never forgive myself if I send you into labor!!" You can imagine my reply! Something along the lines of "...forever in your debt..." :-)
So, I'm living on the edge right now. I know the full-fledged active stage could kick in at any moment... or not. My attitude is the pits. I am depressed, crabby, tired, irritated, annoyed, blah, bored, sleepy, unmotivated. I am SO ready to get to the other side soon. I'm tired of my whole life being on hold. I feel like I have PMS times one million.
There is simply nothing like the last couple weeks of pregnancy to make a woman start craving the mindnumbing pain of labor. I'd give anything for a whammy of a contraction to hit right about now.