February 23, 2000
I can't believe it. I'm still reeling a little from the shock of having my due date come and go without the birth of my baby. You would surely think I'd know better! I'm no fool about estimated due dates, but there you go. All the prelabor I've been having really set me up, too.
Right on cue, the phone started ringing off the hook. Everyone just knew I must have had the baby by now and just forgot to share the good news. ;-) Despite all my attempts to not get my hopes up for an on-time baby during this pregnancy, I didn't realize how much I had subconsciously staked on having my baby in my arms on or by my due date. It doesn't help that Hannah Mac arrived on her due date after labor began spontaneously, so I guess I thought that "history" would count for something this time around.
After talking to my mom, though, she reminded me that out of four kids, I was the earliest -- arriving eight days past my due date. And after talking to my sister, she mentioned that she went into labor with her second born after having her membranes stripped at 41 weeks. I had forgotten about that. And I don't think I was appropriately sympathetic to her at the time. I had no clue at that point how much anguish being just a few days past EDD can cause a woman.
I've been reading lots of birth stories this past week and every article about the signs of labor and postdates, etc. that I can get my hands on. I learned that 40% of pregnant women have their babies after 41 weeks. Interesting. The birth stories sure seem to back that up, too. It didn't make me feel much better to read them, however, because the babies were always BORN at the end of the story and I'm feeling very much like mine plans to take up permanent residence in there.
As irritated as I am to not have my baby yet, I'm SO much more relaxed than I was with HM. I definitely had a lot of anxiety tied up in attempting a VBAC and fear that maybe I couldn't even GO into spontaneous labor. Of course, I ended up having HM on her due date, which has set me up for major disappointment this time. But I guess all this emotional/hormonal hoopla is just part of the End of Pregnancy. The other day a friend of mine -- who was due the day after me -- had her baby. Insanely enough, I was overwhelmed with jealousy -- and very nearly in tears, no less. How silly is that?! It's not like the child isn't going to come out sometime soon.
One thing I've concluded is that I'm too prepared. Birth tub set up, layette ready to go for weeks. I never forget to take my mobile phone when I'm out. I really need to put myself in a situation where we're a little more caught off guard ;-). Last weekend I tried the Tempting Fate Technique. We took a little excursion to try and get our minds off of this not-so-impending labor. As I got into the car, Tony said, "Maybe you should put a towel down just in case your water breaks." I looked him dead in the eye and replied, "I WANT my water to break on this trip; therefore, no towel." We chuckled. It still didn't work.
Overall, I'm really trying to reset my expectations so that I'm not expecting labor to start any second. Better to have the mindset that it may be a couple weeks yet. I just don't take disappointment very well. I was so sure last week at this time that THIS week at this time I'd have my babe in arms. And wahhh, here I still am. I think I'm better off imagining that next week at this time I'll still be here. Pregnant. Pregnant forever.
Due date surprise
When I thought it couldn't get any worse... IT DID. I'm not only still pregnant, but I came down with a horrendous head cold the day this baby was due. I have never been so depressed. BAHHHH.
Tony stayed home from work for two days and the weather suddenly turned gorgeous here (70!), so he had the girls out and about a lot so I could rest and relax in some peace and quiet. I felt like utter hell for several days (I still wouldn't have complained if I'd gone into labor!), but I seem to be on the rebound now. I'm still congested and hacking around, but breathing through my nose is once again possible and I can even taste food a little again. I am immensely grateful (and furiously knocking on wood) that this wasn't worse. After this little bout of misery, being "just" 40 plus weeks pregnant is starting to look pretty darn good.