JackieWOW. I don't think I can relay how truly excited I am. I'm writing this journal entry from my new...

WOW. I don't think I can relay how truly excited I am. I'm writing this journal entry from my new laptop computer. Neal surprised me and ordered an amazing one that is so above and beyond what I need, but I'm also so super excited that I'm actually sitting in my comfy chair in my bedroom connected to the internet and writing. Sheer bliss!

You know the big reason he did it is I honestly spend most of my free time in the evening either working, writing or researching something on the computer. I feel like just sitting watching tv is wasting time, but the amount of time we were spending apart in the evenings was making him feel lonely so he got me this so I could hang out in the same room as him at night. I thought that was cute.

Another big beginning....da da da da....Preschool started. It's so so so cute I can't stand it. This week we go with them to class and when I found out that we could come as much as we wanted (even though he's only signed up for three days) I told Neal who was off today that he should go with him. The first day was Wednesday and it was just so neat seeing him exploring the different play stations and interacting with the kids.

His favorite thing to do with adults and kids alike no matter where we are (school, home depot, the grocery store, yelling across the street) is to say, "Hi, what's your name?" Then he tells the person, "My name is Jackson" and proceeds to ask them "What are you doing?" That is followed up with a rundown of what we're doing like, "We just got groceries" or sometimes little made up stories that come out of nowhere, such as this one, "Tomorrow we're going to go to my birthday." I'm not sure where that's coming from, but he has been talking about his birthday being tomorrow lately. Granted, anything that is in the past, no matter how many months ago, was "yesterday" and anything in the future, no matter how far ahead is "tomorrow." It makes me laugh.

Anyway, he and Neal came home today and he was so excited telling me all about school. The interesting thing is that I guess he was all over the jungle gym in the playground going up the ladder and down the slides. He hadn't really ventured down the slides yet and would try to go up the ladder (it's a really difficult one that twists) but would never make it all the way when he was with me. But it goes to show that they can be so different with the other parent. Neal said he was going down the slide backwards and running all around the playground. I noticed they both came home rather sweaty and Neal told me he was getting quite a work out. So that's half of it. Little old me was sitting at the table chatting with the other moms while he played with the animals in the sand pit. Today Dad was right in there with him going down the slide and chasing him. I'm so glad he's so active and right there with him like that. It took away any fear he had of the jungle gym and now I know he'll be more adventurous on it on his own.

The only thing that seems to upset him is when another child cries. He doesn't understand and will climb into my lap and put his head on my shoulder. Next week when the parents aren't going with them and I know there will be some tears, I just hope it doesn't upset him too much.

The other cute thing is that he has a mild crush on one of his teachers, Miss Tanya. I haven't mentioned this, but he has a total crush on his pediatrician. He gets all googley eyed and tilts his head coyly to the side when we see her. Miss Tanya and Miss Kudlu both have similar features in that they're dark haired with olive skin and almond shaped eyes. I've decided I think he has a thing for women with that ethnic exotic look. It's interesting to see him have preferences like that already. Today he kept trying to make sure Miss Tanya was watching him saying, "Here I is, Miss Tanya" and coloring with sidewalk chalk with her. I'm glad he's forming an attachment to at least one of his teachers though and I hope next week goes as smoothly as this week did.

I already have all three of my mini breaks scheduled. Monday I'll be getting together with a friend I haven't seen in a while, Wednesday is my mom's group meeting and Friday I'm getting a much needed haircut. I'm sort of tempted to do something a little drastic. I don't know why, but the other night I saw a picture of Faith Hill and was tempted to go much shorter. I think it's because of being pregnant though that I'm feeling more adventurous and I'm worried that the sleep deprived me with the dark circles and puffy eyes will regret that decision. But then I rationalize that maybe this is the best time to do something like this because your hair does grow quickly during pregnancy. So that has been a little dilemma I keep going back and forth on. I think it'll come down to whether my hairdresser tells me if the new cut would be a lot more time consuming. The good this is the way it is now I get out of the shower, comb it, put some gel in it, scrunch it and I'm good to go. But I've had it this way for quite awhile and I'm itching for a change.

For the CMV update, my 'titers' or numbers finally came in three weeks later. But there's still more confusion and honestly no answers. It turns out UCLA did have titers after all because on the form they faxed me it's showing the IgG as being 1.1. However the outside lab found the exact same blood to be 3.15. I asked why and my doctor said he honestly didn't know. The answer he got from the lab was that they use different equipment. When I asked which one was right they said they didn't know. So it's sort of a mute point having the results. Not to mention you're supposed to do a follow up 10 days to two weeks later so that window has been missed. Then it turns out they didn't do the CMV IgM titers. That was important to have and it was requested so it makes no sense. My doctors office said that they simply, "don't know what happened." So, once again I feel like the ball was dropped. When stuff like this happens I feel like crying I'm just so frustrated from all the ways my testing has been mishandled. Again, I'm very much looking forward to October and the chance to start fresh with my new doctor.

I did stop by the new hospital to find out about having a tour since everything will be new to me. They happen to offer a class for siblings as well to prepare them on having a baby in the family. I'm not sure if Jackson is too young for that, but it sounds cute. He very proudly tells people, "My mommy has a baby in her tummy" with a tone that expresses how very important this is.

Oh...and I almost forgot to mention, I shared that whole Eagle writing about Psalm 40:31 with Neal after I wrote last week's journal. He loved it and loved the fact that it gave even more meaning to the name Ava for us, so we have officially decided her name is Ava Grace. I felt so excited knowing it was definite and it's so cute to hear Jackson refer to her as Ava. He says it in such an adorable little toddler way.

Tomorrow, I'm attending a baby shower for a friend whose due in early November. She's the first of a long string of us who are pregnant. I foresee many baby showers in the future. It's kind of nice having friends to go through all of this pregnancy stuff with and I know it'll be nice to have other people in my life who have a toddler and a newborn.

I'm getting excited about holding her and seeing her. I know in the beginning I said I was having trouble with this, but when I hear Jackson saying things like, "I want to give baby Ava a bottle" and "I will clean it with bubbles, all by myself" I have hope that things are going to be good.

I've been having these horrible bouts of insomnia the last few nights. I'm so tired, but I wake up and can't fall back asleep for a couple or few hours. Usually I find I'm hungry or my legs are jumpy and then my mind starts wondering and it's over. I have to get up and eat something and read before I can fall back asleep. So, that leads me to my final point and that is that I truly need to get a little bit of rest. Jackson is having his 'quiet time' right now. I hear him babbling a little, but hopefully I'll be able to squeeze in a half an hour of shut eye myself.

I got supplies to start a couple of projects for baby Ava's room and will definitely send pictures as they're finished. But it could take awhile :) Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying this special time with their babies in their tummies.

Until next time,

recommended for you