This week was our first appointment. I was quite anxious about the whole thing. It felt like years waiting for this day. Waiting to find out that everything was ok and going as planned. And it was. Exactly on schedule to the day.
Kelly was nervous, but for different reasons. A vaginal ultrasound did it for him. He was more concerned that I was going to be violated with this tool. It was very sweet, but not necessary as I tried to explain. Welcome to the life of a woman. We are "violated" by gloves, forceps and jellies at least once a year.
Once the picture came up on the screen, it was the sweetest relief ever. Up until this point I knew that I was pregnant. However, this time I actually believed it. For a moment, I thought that the screen would pop up and there would be just a regular uterus hanging out and the technician would question why I was there and then tell the Dr. I was a loon.
Instead, she quickly pointed out that there was just one baby. Kelly was hoping for twins. Then she showed us the heartbeat (136BPM), then the baby's head and body and the yolk sac. Who knew a yolk sac could be so cute? I suddenly had no feeling of nausea and I felt great. Until night time came when the excitement subsided and exhaustion and nausea decided it was time to party again.
As I waited for this day to come, I felt that this would be the visit that would set my mind at ease. However, as suspected, I am now going to have a count down to the next visit when I can hear the heartbeat. We saw the heartbeat today and in 3 weeks we will hear it.
Walking through the halls of the medical building and seeing pictures in the Dr.'s office of baby announcements and deliveries got me so excited. Now, I know it is a bit premature, but I just can't wait till delivery day. I can't wait till I am walking down the hospital halls knowing that I will soon hold a miracle that Kelly and I created.
I've got plenty of time and I'm sure it'll go by fast, so I'll just be patient and enjoy carrying my sweet little muffin. I'm also sure that when the time comes I'll be petrified and question my rush.
Other than that excitement, I am getting more nausous by the day. The faintest smell of anything will get me salivating and shaking. But, still no vomiting, which again I guess is a good thing, but it would feel so great if I could.
I've never been one to throw up, unless it was a severe flu or food poisoning. I always had a strong stomach. I think it has been 5 years since I've thrown up. Ugh! I can't even talk about it, I feel sick. It seems it is all that occupies my brain. In everything I do, all I can think is how yuck my tummy feels. I used to cry and be such a baby with 1 hour of an upset stomach. Now it's weeks. But, still it is all so worth it.
Oh and though I definitely do not appear to be pregnant, my pants are not fitting and I have occasional tantrums as to what I can wear that will make me look less like a blimp and more human. Kelly things I am being very dramatic and only notices my tummy getting bigger. But, until I have the obvious bump, I am convinced that I look like I had one too many cookies. Again, all worth it.
P.S. Weird dream worthy of a sentence.
Last night I dreamt that I went into the closet to
change my clothes and a full size newborn popped out
of me and I squeezed him or her right back in like it
was nothing. Very strange.