Jackie's Ongoing Pregnancy Journal
I'm writing this the day after Thanksgiving. Many long years ago I would have been one of those crazy shoppers out today and in the more recent past I would have been working, typically covering those crazy shoppers out there at the crack of dawn hunting for bargains. This year however, I spent the morning organizing. Ahhh, a pregnant lady's dream day. :) Actually a couple of weeks ago when my sister helped me paint the baby's room we cleared out the closet that had been storing boxes filled with books and other miscellaneous items. Honestly, those boxes had been put up there when we moved in over five years ago and hadn't been looked at since. But since they've been stacked on my bedroom floor creating a fire hazard I figured today was the day to start sorting.
Again, I have gathered a rather large goodwill pile. It's amazing the amount of books Neal and I have held onto over the years that we honestly don't ever look at and have decided we don't need. In the process though I came across a bunch of old photographs and cards and letters including my wedding announcement, birthday cards from when I turned 21, scripts and logs of contacts from shows I worked on and photos from college. It did slow down my 'organizing' mission, but it was a nice walk down memory lane. I came to an interesting realization. Well, first I came to the realization that man was I in good shape ten years ago. I vaguely remembered what my stomach and legs looked like, but looking at those pictures made me pine over really working out once this baby is born. Of course, I must remind myself that was TEN years ago and even being dedicated to working out, I'm not sure I'll ever be in that good of shape.
The big realization I came to was just how happy I am where I am. There have been times when I know I wouldn't have been able to say that. In fact after having Jackson that was my biggest emotional adjustment, just getting used to giving up the working life I had known and the free time that was really no longer mine. But today I give thanks for where I am, my husband and for the little man in my life as well as the little lady about to grace me with her presence. It's such a gift to be a Mom and though things are a million miles from where they used to be, I'm happy with the way they are.
It made me feel so grown up looking back at those cards and the well wishes people wrote me over college projects, graduation, job opportunities, life struggles, my upcoming wedding and so on. I actually had to stop my walk down memory lane sort of abruptly when my husband came in to tell me he had to leave for his golf game. That was our deal, I got the morning off and he got the afternoon to golf. So the piles are still on my bedroom floor, but I have made progress. Why I hang onto some of the things I do, I don't know. But the fact that I still have these cards after ten years I feel like I should just keep holding onto them. I guess on another day in ten years it'll make me reminisce even more. Other than that though these things sure take up a lot of storage space.
Yesterday being Thanksgiving and since 'Mimi and Pa' or Grandma and Grandpa were here I took advantage of the extra helping hands and did about six loads of baby laundry. I've now washed all the bedding, clothes, blankets and burp cloths I could possibly need for the first six months. I think I may not have mentioned that last weekend my friend Stacy and I traded all of our baby clothes. Between her clothes, a batch of hand-me-downs from a friend of my mom's and the gifts from my shower this little girl is going to be so decked out for the first year of her life. In fact I'm not even sure where to store everything. How lucky is she and am I? My husband is happy for his pocket book too. It felt good to get everything put away and the crib made. I still need him to raise it up to the top notch though. Now, aside from getting the infant car seat installed I do feel like if anything were to happen early I'm ready.
I know the space in my tummy is getting smaller and smaller by the day, but that isn't stopping her from moving just as frequently and with such strong force. It's keeping me from sleeping and is kind of disturbing at times, but I'm trying to just hold onto the feeling and accept it since it may be the last time I feel it. By the way, that reminds me about how much I loved the baby bjourn right after Jackson was born. I would wear him snuggled facing towards me almost right away and it felt so much to me like it was when he was in my tummy. I look forward to carrying her around that way too.
I've now almost finished "The Happiest Baby On The Block" by Dr. Karp. Between the tips in there and "The Baby Whisperer" I feel really empowered for whatever may come my way in terms of crankiness, colic and sleep issues. Last time I didn't know any tools of the trade and honestly just went with the flow, but I realized in hindsight that I set up some bad habits. I feel ready now to start fresh. Bring on that crying infant, I just can't wait to test out those 5 S's Dr. Karp so strongly recommends.
I continue to feel like my stomach can't possibly extend out any further. Even my parents when they got here yesterday and saw me on the couch with Jackson could tell Ava had grown. I'm looking forward to seeing how she's measuring at my next appointment. I feel like I could write forever right now, but I have a kiddo who needs a bath and I must get him to bed so I'm off. I hope everyone is enjoying their pregnancies. I can't believe I'm in the home stretch.
Until next time,
P.S. I almost forgot to add another thing to be thankful for...I was looking in a new baby store called 'Baby Ant' the other day and Jackson was with me. All of a sudden he saw a little Piglet rattle and excitedly exclaimed, "I want to get this for my baby, I want to get this for my baby. This will make her happy." The joy in his voice and the sheer excitement over getting her a gift made me so happy. I just hopped back on to add this after getting him to bed. Every night we say prayers together and I always ask what he wants to pray for. He's adding all sorts of things to the list these days like naming all of his classmates and for windows and doors, but his number one request is to pray for baby Ava. Tonight he asked me to lift my sweatshirt so he could put his hands on my tummy. He kept saying, "woooahhh, woooahhh." I think he's reacting to the way everyone keeps commenting on how big my stomach is getting. But no matter what the reason, I'm just so glad he's into the prospect of being a big brother. I told him he could talk to her, that she can hear him. He told her, "I'm excited to meet you baby Ava." He asked if she could talk to him when she comes out. I told him, not right away, that she has to learn her words. He said, "I will teach her her words." How can my heart not melt.