The fact that we can create another thinking and feeling human being is a miracle. And the birthing process that brings that little person into the world is a miraculous event in itself. It is so special that we often ask members of our families to witness the birth. But what about our older children? Should they be there too?
Jennifer Newton Reents

Determining what's right for your child
When it comes to siblings attending the delivery, one of the most common questions parents have is: Are my kids old enough?

Robin Elise Weiss, childbirth and postpartum educator, certified doula, doula trainer -- and the mother of four -- says age is not the most important factor in deciding whether your children should attend the birth, but rather their temperament and how much you have prepared them for this exciting time.

"It's also important to allow the child the right to leave and the option of changing (his or her) mind," says Weiss, whose older children began attending the birth of their siblings at the ages six and four-and-a-half. "Being flexible goes both ways and is very important."

For example, Weiss says, parents may think they'd like the child to be present for the whole birth but find it works better to have them come and go with a support person specifically assigned to the older child. "Or perhaps they show up just for the last few minutes of labor and birth," she says. "Maybe your child will be bored and want to leave. You need to be prepared for this and not be hurt by their decision."

Mindy Haines' daughter was all set for the birth of her brother until just before his birth. Haines, of Millersville, Maryland, discussed the details of childbirth with her daughter, then six, ahead of time.

"She decided that she didn't want to be in the room when Spencer was born, but that she wanted to meet him as soon as he was cleaned up," Haines says. "So, when I was 9 centimeters, my girlfriend called my mother-in-law and she brought Amanda to the hospital. They waited in the waiting room until 20 minutes after Spencer was born. Then they came back and spent several hours with us."

Clare Albright, a southern California psychologist, mother and author of 100 Tips for Parents of Two Year Olds, says in most cases, families should wait until their older children are at least six years old before they attend a birth.

"During the labor, the older sibling will see the mother in a great deal of pain, probably making unusual and loud noises," Albright says. "Before six, the child's brain is not physiologically developed to the point that it can reason in an abstract way. Instead, young children reason in a concrete, ego-centric way. Children over six could view their mother expressing pain and understand the concept, 'Mom is in pain but she doesn't really mind because it's well worth it to bring our new baby into the world.' Children under age six process their mother being in pain by thinking, 'Oh no, Mom's probably mad at me? What did I do? This is so scary! She's not safe so I'm not safe! Something terrible is about to happen! I've never seen Mom act like this before!'"

Creating bonds
Albright says while she feels allowing a child under age 6 to attend the birth can be traumatic for the child, for children over age 6, being present at the birth can foster feelings of inclusion and belonging in the older child. "I do believe that going through an intense, emotional miraculous event such as viewing the birth of a younger sibling will most likely lead to a special bond with that younger sibling," Albright says. Weiss, too, says viewing the birth creates a special bond.

"Our three year old witnessed his sister's birth this past fall. He actually stood right next to me on a stool. He was so thrilled," Weiss says."He was quiet and peaceful during the birth, and very wide-eyed. My husband actually caught the baby with our practitioner standing next to him. When my husband handed me the baby and stepped aside, Isaac grabbed his arm and hugged it really tight and said, 'She came out! She came out!' He hopped up next to me on the bed and said it was his turn to hold the baby. He was singing and dancing all day, telling everyone who would listen. We have honestly not had a single problem in six months with him and the baby."

Diana Fusco, of Belair, South Australia, had her then one year old son, Arin, attend the birth of his brother, Devin. "Although I know he was probably too young to remember much if any of the birth, it meant a lot to me for him to be present. We went into this pregnancy as a family and went into the birth as a family also," Fusco says.

Fusco says she and her husband decided to allow Arin to attend the birth because they wanted their son to know where his brother came from. "[We] wanted him to be part of the event rather than suddenly having a strange baby foisted on him," she says."Devin was born in a birthing center attached to a hospital. Across the hallway there was a little waiting room for friends and family. A good friend who knows Arin well set herself up in this room with Arin so that he could come in and out of the room as he wished. That way he could decide how much he could handle. He left the room during the pushing, and came straight back in as soon as Devin was born."

Fusco says Arin handled the majority of her labor well. But when given the chance to attend the birth of Fusco's third child, her eldest declined, since he has a strong aversion to blood, and because the middle child was "into everything" at age four, it didn't seem appropriate to have him there.

"I think we know our children and we know if they can handle it or not," she says.

Preparing your child
Weiss reminds parents to talk about all aspects of the birth, including the fact that babies are born naked and how and why the umbilical cord is cut.

"Many children play with clothed or diapered dolls, and [naked newborns] can be a shock for them," she says. "One little girl was very upset over cutting the cord because no one had talked to her about it. She thought the baby was having its tail clipped like a puppy! Preparation ahead of time can alleviate these miscommunications."

Albright recommends parents find a simple book about pregnancy and show the older child how the new baby looks during different stages of the pregnancy. Weiss says it's also important to not only show pictures, but videos particularly ones that include a similar setting, such as a hospital, so the child becomes familiar with the instrument table and other devices used in the delivery room.

"Practice vocalization with your child," Weiss adds. "'This is what Mommy may sound like: Ahhhhhhhhhh!' They not only get the reality of the situation but will have fun practicing too."

To prepare her daughter, Haines said they watched A Baby Story on TLC and brought her along on a few prenatal appointments. Haines says she planned for her mother-in-law to attend to her daughter while Haines was in labor. Weiss says having a support person for your child is a must, and it has to be someone who you are not counting on to support you during your labor and delivery.

"So if it's really important that your mom be at the birth, don't assign her the task of taking care of the older child. You might even consider hiring a doula or childbirth educator to do this job," she says. "Sometimes you can find a training doula who needs a birth for certification purposes who would be willing to assist you, perhaps for a lesser fee."

Have a labor bag ready for your child that is filled with fun things to do, games, snacks, et cetera, Weiss says.

"Consider giving your child a disposable camera. You might get some really great photos," she adds. You may also want to assign your older child a job during your labor. "Being the resident ice-chip-fetcher or cold-rag-wringer are great jobs for kids, particularly those in the age range of three or four years old," Weiss says.

When it comes to making the decision of whether or not to invite your child to the birth, and how -- if at all -- to involve them at the time, you really have to rely on your own best judgment. You know your child better than anyone! PregnancyAndBaby.com

Tags:


recommended for you

Comments

carpinteyrocuq November 14, 2014
锘縜ge Country, possessing dedicated alone into the "destruction regarding conventional values" plus the marketing with "abstract ideas" (Equality? Democracy? Any quest for pleasure?), possesses placed per se against the greater part of young adults and spiritual orthodoxy all over the place.

Buchanan has not been material simply to popularity Putin with regard to his particular "moral clarity.In During taking on Putin, they encouraged that a brand-new global conservative bloc may very well be, and of course should really be, collecting. Even though countless People in america happen to be "still distracted by a chilly Warfare model,Inches the guy submitted, "the Modern have difficulty could be side, having conservatives and also traditionalists atlanta divorce attorneys nation put together contrary to the militant secularism of any sophisticated and also transnational top level."

Buchanan originates comprehensive group of friends. The actual moral arc connected with Buchanan's world may perhaps be very long, but it surely continues plopping her straight down in the company of thugs.

It's not at all Buchanan's velocity that's appealing listed here, on the other hand. It's his argument that this North american Ethnical Right should really help make frequent contribute to by using opponents of your Enlightenment wherever they could be. He applauds the present decision connected with India's Supreme Court reestablishing any 1861 legislation this criminalized lesbian and gay love-making. He or she records approvingly that will, "in usual dozen locations which are chiefly Islamic, very same intercourse marital life is not even revealed.Half inch

Buchanan's epiphany that will their brand of nationalism and non secular orthodoxy has christians throughout the world is definitely right but will he or she coerce their eternally infuriated Usa acolytes which will some of the people they most concern and hate are literally the individuals they will be hailing for their friends? Will certainly "Duck Dynasty" patriarch Phil Robertson adopt un Followers that happen to be seeing that homophobic when he is actually? Will Texans hold the composure once they realise that really the only those who to get a money penalty up to they generally do are usually Oriental communists along with Saudi sheiks? May particularists which believe the rush, religion and also land happen to be endangered by means of immigrants along with nonbelievers, by simply strangers along with cosmopolitans, sort a transnational, combination national alli




<a href=http://rhand.org.tt/Uploads/nike/nike20466.html>air jordan concord 11 size 9.5</a>
<a href=http://rhand.org.tt/Uploads/nike/nike19544.html>nike free run preschool size 13</a>
<a href=http://rhand.org.tt/Uploads/nike/nike19652.html>air jordan 11 release dates 2013</a>
<a href=http://rhand.org.tt/Uploads/nike/nike15012.html>nike air max 90 solar red</a>
<a href=http://rhand.org.tt/Uploads/nike/nike15634.html>jd sports air max 1 og</a>
Joeiqg November 04, 2014
锘縯o reside in along with work with a lot of these metropolitan areas. Take a peek, My spouse and i definitely not providing nearly anything, plus make <a href=http://www.life-makmetal.eu/en/license.php?nike-air-max-2014-all-skyblue-p-933.html>Nike Air Max 2014 All SkyBlue</a>contributions ones suggestions about the best place to survive.

Any ideas on how to make it better will almost allways be pleasant. My partner and i under no circumstances best. I actually established this great site to aid our brother with rules determine when the lady together with her spouse to be should turn to. The woman resides in Gta and the man lives in Vancouver as well as are hunting for a transform.閿樼笂ttawa RCMP officer charged with little on<a href=http://www.life-makmetal.eu/en/license.php?nike-free-run-2-men-mainblack-hotred-p-482.html>Nike Free Run+ 2 Men Mainblack HotRed</a>e punishment

OTTAWA, Ont. The Ottawa RCMP representative with his fantastic girlfriend looking at your number of serious charges associated with toddler mistreatment, appeared essential with the following time frame for Feb 5th.

The mountie, 41, and his awesome 34 yr old mate each individual experience several matters of invasion with a tool, about three number involving overwhelmed attack, just one count number with failing to deliver the necessaries connected with everyday living and another matter connected with forcible confinement.

A man appeared face-to-face in advance of a judge for Wednesday day, after seeing your courtroom doctor. Your dog knitted their eyebrows and also clutched a new rolled away small note. He made no noise, at times sniffing at plus nodding although decide speech.

His / her wife also seemed essential Friday afternoon, although by simply training video url.

Your lover wore a gray sweatshirt and the woman's solid wild hair was initially retracted to a very low pony trail, disclosing your dazed appearance on her behalf face.

This lady gave a talk only to detect very little into the assess.

Very few specifics of the accused are being launched because, shop dead, pinpointing all of them would probably find out the people. Private detectives won't put out what amount of babies are included in this situation, as well as what percentage of the particular i<a href=http://www.life-makmetal.eu/en/license.php?nike-free-run-2-women-mainblack-lightred-p-476.html>Nike Free Run+ 2 Women MainBlack LightRed</a>ncluded parties learn 1 another.

"There (is) a few recipient, having said that i would not expose a variety,In stated A/S/Sgt. Franois D'Aoust. "Just given the amount of prices laid, it is a really serious offence that we are looking into.Inches

Support attorney at law Bob Azzi explained to 1310News which he is convinced the whole family alternative kids are below the good they Support Culture.

Even though one of the falsely accused is surely an RCMP policeman, she has possibly not been in energetic task for merely eighteen months.

"I aren't able to wind up in exactly why of that,Inch RCMP T



<a href=http://www.life-makmetal.eu/en/license.php?nike-air-max-2014-men-lightgray-green-volt-p-906.html>Nike Air Max 2014 Men LightGray Green Volt</a>
<a href=http://www.life-makmetal.eu/en/license.php?nike-free-run-3-women-darkblue-peach-p-425.html>Nike Free Run 3 Women DarkBlue Peach</a>
<a href=http://www.life-makmetal.eu/en/license.php?nike-air-max-95-dyn-fw-women-purple-cyan-p-776.html>Nike Air Max 95 Dyn FW Women Purple Cyan</a>
<a href=http://www.life-makmetal.eu/en/license.php?nike-air-max-90-em-men-white-skyblue-p-834.html>Nike Air Max 90 EM Men White SkyBlue</a>
<a href=http://www.life-makmetal.eu/en/license.php?nike-air-max-95-dyn-fw-women-white-lime-p-770.html>Nike Air Max 95 Dyn FW Women White Lime</a>
http://www.bilderbox.cc/images/140912/205.html September 13, 2014
Cheap Astros jerseys usa wholesale free shipping for order over 10 pcs and easy 365-days returns.
[url=http://www.bilderbox.cc/images/140912/205.html]http://www.bilderbox.cc/images/140912/205.html[/url]
Ecokattaila February 23, 2013
tee shirt i love la
tee shirt cravate
tee shirt femme pas cher

<a href="http://www.h88.fr">flocage tee shirt</a>
<a href="http://www.i66.fr">tee shirt vintage</a>
<a href="http://www.h55.fr">lunettes marc jacobs</a>
<a href="http://www.i99.fr">www.i99.fr</a>
<a href="http://www.j33.fr">tee shirt wati b</a>


tee shirt muse
tee shirt jimi hendrix
tee shirt col v

http://www.h55.fr
http://www.j33.fr
http://www.i66.fr
http://www.h88.fr
http://www.i99.fr