Fourth of July weekend was a bit rough, my sinus infection made my nausea so much worse and there was no time of day or night that was safe from the morning sickness fairy. We spent Saturday and Sunday at friends houses and Monday I just lay on the couch in an attempt to recuperate before the work week. On Sunday I told the remainder of my friends about the pregnancy and judging by their reaction, I have a feeling that they already knew. Word gets out fast around here, and people love to gossip, so I'm not surprised. All day I kept thinking that I needed to tell them, but kept hesitating, unable to make the words come out. My friends are all in such a different place than I am and I never know what reaction I will get when I give them any news. They are all single and the farthest thing from their minds marital bliss and having babies, so I don't blame them for their lack of ability to relate to my situation. At least it's over with... they know and I don't have to worry about telling them anymore.
When I first found out I was pregnant I was so concerned with how it would affect Colin's and my relationship. I've always heard how having a baby brings all new issues to the table and can cause strain to a marriage. With Colin and I being newlyweds, this concern was amplified even more so, but the way he has treated me and taken care of me and loved me over the last few months has made me see him in a whole new light and love him even more. It isn't exactly in his nature to be doting and nurturing, and I feared I would have to survive this pregnancy relying on my own strength and determination, while trying to make him understand the changes I was going through... I seriously underestimated him. Yesterday was our 6 month wedding anniversary, in my haze I didn't remember until he called me to tell me 'Happy Anniversary'.
After work I wanted to think of something special to do, wanted to make dinner like I normally would have, or fix his favorite dessert, but the energy just wasn't there and the thought of just walking into the grocery store brought that tugging feeling to the back of my throat. Colin still wasn't home at 8:00 and I wondered if perhaps he had decided to volunteer at the library but forgot to tell me. I didn't think much of it and continued to fade in and out of consciousness in front of the TV. When Colin came home he was carrying a huge bouquet of my favorite flowers, hydrangeas and peonies, mixed with some other flowers he had picked out himself. They were beautiful and he brought me a card too with the sweetest little letter inside. I could've cried I was so touched. He apologized for being so late, work had been crazy and he had just wanted to get home to spend our anniversary together. We settled onto the couch, to supposedly watch a movie, and I was snoring within 15 minutes. I feel completely rotten for passing out on our anniversary but know I couldn't have stayed awake if I'd tried. The moment I start feeling better I plan on doing something really great for him, to make up for what a bum I have been over the last few months. He certainly deserves it.
Our latest dilemma is the realization that the lease on our little apartment is up 3 days before my due date. Do we have great timing or what? Just the thought of trying to move and set up a whole new 'nest' makes me incredibly nervous. Considering it is a 2nd story one bedroom apartment in the heart of downtown, central to the fire station, police station, train tracks and city rail station, we don't feel it is the best option for raising an infant. I just think of women who spend months preparing the nursery and organizing everything, and if I am LUCKY I will have 3 days to a week to get everything together... if I don't go into labor early. Ugh!
Not only was yesterday our 6 month anniversary, but it was our first prenatal appointment with the midwife. Part of me was so scared that I would show up and they would tell me that I had made a mistake, that I wasn't pregnant or that I wasn't as far a long as I thought, but everything went really well. She was very kind and informative and let us ask the questions that we needed. I got to skip the pelvic exam as I had my yearly in February, so that was a bonus! They drew blood, took a urine sample and let us hear the heart beat for the first time. It was so amazing! I can't believe that that is our little baby, so small with such a strong heart. I can't wait to find out if it is a boy or a girl, to feel movement for the first time, and to begin preparing things. Right now it just feels like a waiting game- waiting for the nausea to go away, waiting to start 'showing', waiting for a sonogram and so on, but I know time will begin to fly by once I feel better, at least that is what I'm hoping!