Breaking from a stressful lifestyle
Jane* and her husband left their regular, hectic schedules in New Jersey and headed for the Florida coast. They spent long hours relaxing on beaches and poking around art galleries for a week. It was an idyllic vacation they'll never forget -- especially since Jane was pregnant with her second child.
"Our
trip was a great way for us to temporarily forget about our parental
responsibilities," says Jane, who took the trip during her
complication-free second trimester. By taking the time to reconnect
with each other, Jane and her husband not only strengthened their
relationship, they helped build a home environment in which their two
daughters can thrive. "I think that anytime you feel positive about the
father of your child, it helps make for a happier parent," says Jane,
"and a more welcoming household for the child to be born into."
By
growing together through their experiences, Jane and her husband
discovered new dimensions of intimacy that reinforced the strength of
their partnership, and helped head off some common postpartum problems.
Sharing
special time with your partner during pregnancy offers yet another
bonus, one that your baby will appreciate most of all. "If you're
getting the nurturing you need from the relationship," she adds, "you
have much more to give."
Don't wait
Jane didn't wait until traveling to share intimate moments with her
husband. "I think the nesting things we did while preparing for both
children made us feel closer," she remembers. "Planning the rooms and
shopping for furniture and supplies added to the excitement,
anticipation, and bonding."
"When
a baby's born, it's a time of wonder," says licensed social worker
Claire Lerner of Zero to Three, a national nonprofit organization that
promotes healthy social, emotional, and intellectual development of
babies and toddlers. "But it can also be a time of tremendous stress.
The less alone you feel, the better able you are to nurture your baby."
>From pregnancy to parenthood
Lerner works with many new parents who struggle with feelings of
isolation -- the mother at home alone with the baby and the father
feeling left out of important moments of discovery and growth. In
addition, new parents don't get enough sleep or quality alone time
during the first few wondrous days and weeks with their bundles of joy.
That's why Lerner believes that intimacy, grounded in closeness before
and during pregnancy, is an essential tool for this time and beyond for
preventing frustration buildup.
And it's good for baby
Parents aren't the only beneficiaries of parental intimacy. "For
babies, it's enormous," Lerner says. "They're taking in and reacting to
the world around them from birth. They pick up on tension and stress.
And they always benefit from having two active parents in their
lives... they get so much from both mom and dad." 
