Are you ready to start trying again? The first thing you have to consider when you're planning a subsequent pregnancy is whether or not you're ready to start trying to conceive again. In addition to factoring in your physical readiness for another pregnancy, you need to consider how emotionally ready you are to step onboard that roller coaster ride known as a subsequent pregnancy. That means weighing such factors as:
You may find that you have a burning need to become pregnant right away so that you'll have something to look forward to -- a reason to be happy again. Or you may find that you want to give yourself a bit more time to grieve the loss of your baby before you plunge into another pregnancy.
You may also feel quite strongly that you would like to allow certain significant milestones to pass before you become pregnant again --the due date for the baby you lost, the anniversary of your baby's death and so on.
The question of timing is very much a matter of personal choice. Health considerations aside, there's no "right" way to time your subsequent pregnancy.
Getting pregnant again won't make all your problems go away, of course. In fact, it'll simply make a whole flock of new problems appear on the horizon! Here are some tips on weathering the emotional highs and lows of pregnancy after a loss.
Cyndie, a 35-year-old mother of two, found that taking this approach was the only thing that kept her sane when she became pregnant again after experiencing three consecutive losses: "It was like holding your breath for nine months, afraid to breathe, afraid to let your guard down," she recalls. "Every waking moment was lived literally from moment to moment. Every internal twinge or sensation signaled a rush of adrenaline as a surge of panic raced through my bloodstream. How I lived through nine months worth of seconds like this I still have no idea. I guess because I never allowed myself to live in the future. Every day, every hour, even every minute, was only that and nothing more."
Rather than focusing on all the scary things that could go wrong, try to remain positive about your chances of giving birth to a healthy baby this time around. The majority of couples who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death go on to give birth to healthy babies the next time around. And if you do, you'll soon forget the agony you experienced along the road to motherhood.
"When Ren&eacuts;e was born -- five-and-a-half years after the birth of my first child, and following three losses -- she brought me completion," says Cyndie. "She gave me pure satisfaction and joy. I smile inside every day. She alone numbs the pain of my losses and makes three-and-a-half years of hell worth every step. I'd do it all again if I knew she'd be the reward. Now I take nothing for granted and I enjoy every moment with my children. They are my priority, my happiness, my life."