It must be the growing discomfort, or the pregnancy hormones, but this week my irritation began mounting with the negative comments I have been receiving. I have begun to wonder why women bother to ask how I'm feeling when they always respond with the same answer, "Oh, you think you're tired now, just wait. You feel uncomfortable now, just wait. Your feet are swollen now, just wait."
Why bother asking me how I feel? From this point on, my answer is going to be simply "incredible!" Then, of course, they will probably respond by telling me "just wait a few more weeks and you may not feel so incredible."
It doesn't stop at this question alone. I have noticed that mothers just love to turn to pregnant women after their child does something obnoxious and say "see what you have to look forward to?" I have now resorted to wearily nodding my head. After then launching into stories of their own children's most outrageous behaviors, they always sum up the conversation by saying, "Oh, but it's all worth it!" some with more confidence than others.
When I shared my feelings about this with my husband, he reminded me about all the negative comments he got before our wedding. I realized that he was absolutely right. People love to give their advice and share their stories (especially about labor) without realizing how they sound to us expecting parents. I've heard repeatedly that I am going to be dead tired, cranky, have no social life, and life as we know it will never be the same once the baby arrives. But, it would be really nice to hear more about the positive aspects:
Like, for instance, that after 4 years of trying to start a family, we are
being blessed with the greatest gift God could give us, a son. That we are
going to rearrange our lives because we choose to, not because we're forced
to. That we are going to love this little child that is a part of both of
us more than life itself. That we will never experience greater joy than
that of bringing a little child into this world. That we are going to
treasure the time when we can hold and cuddle our baby no matter what time
of day or night, because life is too precious and time moves far too
quickly not to.
So as far as all the advice that is making me crazy, it also makes me
reflect back to the reasons we wanted children in the first place. I hope
that I will learn to pass along happy comments to pregnant women that I
come in contact with in the future, and learn to keep negative remarks to
myself.
