If you have a baby there's a good chance you also have at least one good childless pal. This can be a tough situation to be in. I was the first in my group of friends to have a baby and it was especially tough to deal with my very best pal (she was childless).
Before my son arrived I could:
- Take off on the spur of the moment.
- Travel whenever.
- Go out to a late night dinner.
- Hang at the pub whenever.
- Take phone calls, showers, etc. You know normal people stuff.
After my son arrived all of the above became harder to accomplish. Not impossible, it's just that everything takes more time to plan with a child. I could tell my friend was frustrated at my lack of ability to even wake up long enough to go out. It took us an hour once to get out of the house (and all we were doing was going for coffee). If you're in this situation, you can encourage your pal to come by during your baby's nap time for a visit, or hire a sitter once every couple of weeks, or inlist your partner's help, so the two of you can go out. Try to talk about stuff that doesn't involve diaper dramas and breast milk - at least a bit. When you have a baby, it's easy to only focus on the baby, so spend some time focusing on your best pal too. Overall, the best deal is when your friend becomes a mama. My best pal and I stuck it out through all the years of me being a mama, and now she's got a one year old. Now my friend takes naps, hangs up without saying goodbye, and complains about how her childless pals just don't get how tired she is. I resist the urge to say, "I told you so" - ok, at least most of the time. The good news is that my best friend and I are proof that you can remain best friends with someone; kids or not.
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