I've been at plenty of births, including my own of course. In almost every single case, if a dad was...
I've been at plenty of births, including my own of course. In almost every single case, if a dad was present I've seen them do something that's not so helpful for the laboring mama. I don't think it's exactly the dad's fault, maybe they just don't know. In any case, based on my own, and many other friends experiences with labor and birth, here's what dads-to-be should knock off in the labor room. (Feel free to print this out and give to a soon to be dad). DON'T watch TV in the labor room, unless your laboring partner wants to; and yes, that means she chooses the show. DO play music, but ask the laboring mama what she'd like to listen to, and then don't complain when she suddenly wants it perfectly quiet instead. DO give more back massages or brush your partners hair - until she says not to. DON'T look terrified the entire time. Go ahead and feel scared as hell, but put some sort of brave face on, because although your partner will know you're faking bravery, she'll feel better. DO listen. If the laboring mama says stay away from me, she's not joking. Stay in the room, but no touching, until she says. During labor, sometimes what seems like a soothing touch can annoy the flip out of the woman. DON'T allow the nurse to do everything. You're having a baby too. Since you're not the one in labor, you can do things like bring water, pillows, and cool cloths to your partner. DO be helpful, but not like a teacher. Saying things like, "Um, honey that's not the right way to breathe, don't you remember from class?" is rude unless you've been through labor now isn't it? Make suggestions and that's it. DON'T go away during labor. Even if your partner seems to hate you, don't leave her alone. Labor is scary, and she'll feel better with you in the room. DO tell your partner that you love her and this beautiful baby, within at least a couple of hours of the birth. Seriously, I've talked to many a mama who is really mad that her male partner never vocalized this one little thing around the time of their baby's birth. It may seem insignificant, but to many women, it's not. DON'T go home after the birth to get some rest. Sleep on that hospital couch and be around to help with your newborn. Nothing, and I mean nothing, seems so shabby as telling a women who just gave birth, "Wow, I'm tired. I should go get some rest at home." DO go and get some nice take out food though - hospital food sucks, labor is hard, and most women are hungry a few hours after.

Tags: how to act during labor male partner during labor males in labor men and labor


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