If your partner is pregnant there's a good chance you'll be at the labor and birth (or at least, you...
If your partner is pregnant there's a good chance you'll be at the labor and birth (or at least, you should be); if you're worried that you'll faint, mess up, or make your partner hate you forever, no worries. That's movie-minded stuff. Rarely do people actually faint at a birth and you won't mess up if you avoid common annoyances and if you're simply supportive of your partner. Here are some tips if you're going to be someone's labor coach and birth partner... Be active and supportive. You sitting in a chair worrying, reading, or watching TV is not useful. You may as well not be at the labor and birth. Let your partner know that you're there to do whatever she needs. Advocate for your partner. During labor it's hard to be your own advocate. This is where an amazing birth partner comes in. If your partner has said 900 times that she doesn't want an epidural, but hospital staff are pushing for it, be your girl's advocate. Remind the staff that your partner doesn't want the epi. Always re-discuss issues like this though - your partner may change her mind halfway through labor, and that's ok. Remind her of her previous decision but don't fight her about it if she does change her mind. Listen to your partner's needs. You don't need to whip out all the tools (massage, music, ice chips, and so on) that you learned about in birthing class. Your partner may not feel up to a massage. You need to listen to what your partner wants and give her that vs. making executive decisions all on your own. Be there. Many women in labor will tell you to get lost. However, I'm here to let you know that "Get lost" in labor is not exactly "Get lost." Most women I've seen in labor do end up wanting some alone time, but alone time usually means, "Leave me be for a bit, but stay nearby in case I want you back." I know - it's tricky, but it's labor. Face it, your partner should get WHATEVER she wants. If you're told to back off, do so, but don't go out for coffee or anything, stay close by so she knows you're there for support if needed. Avoid negatives. Things can get scary, gross, weird, and otherwise surreal at a labor and birth. You need to be prepared and NOT freak out. Your partner may be scared, worried, or in pain. She doesn't need you to flip out. If something is worrying you try to hold that worry in and focus on your partner. Keep supporting her. It can really help to grab a great book about labor and birth - The Birth Partner is an amazing book for labor and birth coaches that will help you feel prepared. I'd take it to the labor with you even. My number one tip. If this whole labor and birth deal is new to you, hiring a birth doula can be the best decision you'll ever make. A birth doula is not there to take your place, but is there to help support both your partner and you. Learn more... Birth doula support during labor.

Tags: birth coach birth partner labor coach labor help labor support the birth partner


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