I've known many a family who experience problems about who gets to be in the labor room or labor space....
I've known many a family who experience problems about who gets to be in the labor room or labor space. For example, your mother-in-law really wants to be in the room when her grandchild arrives on the planet, which is a valid want, but YOUR choices matter more. It may be that you're perfectly comfortable with lots of people attending your baby's labor and birth, but if you're not, it can cause some hurt feelings; i.e. that same mother-in-law whining about it. What to do? The most important fact is that this is your birth and your choice. If you're not comfortable with lots of people in the labor room, then don't have lots of people in the labor room. Trust me, labor is hard enough without also being uncomfortable because there's a circus in your room. Really, unless someone else is going to push that baby out, it's your call who is in the labor space with you so don't let people guilt trip you. First of all if your baby's father (or your partner) is involved, discuss your wishes with your partner first so that your partner doesn't promise family or friends that they can be there, when you don't want that. Talk to your family and tell them how you really are going to need calm and quiet and so you've decided not to invite anyone else into your labor. If they still complain try the following.... LIE: "My birth center doesn't allow extra people in the labor room - sorry!" USE THE STAFF: Hospital, birth center staff, and even care providers who will deliver your baby at home will handle the situation for you if you ask. I've seen nurses who will kick a family member right out of a room if they know the mama is uncomfortable - then they get the blame not you. GET A DOULA OR SUPER PARTNER: The last thing you need while you're in labor is to argue with family members who barge in. I was acting as doula for my best friend and even though she had said "NO" to her mother-in-law in the labor room, she showed up anyhow. I got rid of her for my friend, and that's exactly what a supportive doula will do and what a supportive birth partner should do.

Tags: birth partner labor room drama people in the labor room supportive partner

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