In my experience (thinking about the mamas I know) mamas, not dads tend to be the ones calling the shots...
In my experience (thinking about the mamas I know) mamas, not dads tend to be the ones calling the shots when it comes to baby care and baby decisions. However, this is not in a mama's best interest because it means that said mama will bear the brunt of most of the baby care and get fewer breaks. Plus if you think about it from a dad's standpoint, it's not really fair. Maybe your partner would like to be more involved with the baby, and even if he seems disinterested, he needs to be involved with his child. Why?
- Confident dads may lead to happier family units overall.
- Involved dads can lead to healthier kids.
- Great dads build strong daughters and sons.
- Better parents lead to happier partnerships and that's healthy for everyone.
How to build a more active dad: CHILL OUT! I was one of those mamas who liked to call the shots when my son was a baby; end result, his dad got less hands on time and I got less help overall. If you chill out and trust that your partner will figure this parenting deal out, you'll be a much happier mama. Learn the difference between clueless and acting. Some dads are overwhelmed and more than happy to let us mamas do it all. BUT that's no way to learn. Your partner needs to get his feet wet with baby care too. Help him out with some great dad parenting resources but don't become a back-seat parent. Your guy needs to be allowed to learn from his mistakes. If you're breastfeeding consider pumping after your baby has passed the nipple confusion stage so that dad gets a chance to feed the baby too. Many parents consider feeding an important bonding time. If you aren't comfortable with bottle feeding at all, point out that other moments make for excellent bonding time as well. For example, dad can give baby a warm bath, read a story with baby, or sing and cuddle with the baby. Food is not the only key to bonding. Encourage help with decision making. Too often dads will say, "Whatever you think is best" when asked about baby care, the nursery color, the birth plan, and more. Really fish for your partner's opinion about baby issues from choosing a pediatrician to flavors of baby food - even small decisions go a long way toward making your partner feel included. Is your partner an active dad? If not are you helping him out? How?