Things that childless friends just don't understand

A long while back I posted about five things your friends won't get until they have kids. Mainly, this was due to my frustration at being the only mama I knew. NONE of my friends had kids before me. I was the first, which means I found out that most people (aka, childless people) don't get basic kid stuff. Stuff like...

• Why it takes longer than ten minutes to get ready to leave the house.
• Why quiet means literally no noise.
• Why you hang up on people now.
• Why you LOVE naps.
• Why it’s okay to eat cheerios off the kitchen floor.

Nowadays it's a little better for me. For one thing, my son is older. Plus many of my childless friends have taken the leap and had their own little ones. I'm not solo anymore! That said, there's a downside. Now instead of me being the only one complaining about childless pals, all my friends complain too. I've had to add to this list. It turns out there's a lot more that your childless pals don't get, like... No, you cannot just drop everything and go for a beer. Or anywhere else. Friends without kids forget that having children means constant supervision. They're also usually shocked that parents don't keep a babysitter in the closet for important occasions like beer (really?). You can't plan a labor and birth. One of the most hilarious phrases I hear from childless pals is as follows, "When I have my baby, it's going to go just like this (insert awesome birth story)." This phrase usually comes after they've sighed or shaken their head in disappointment about my birth story. Here's a tip - you can't plan labor and birth. Sorry people. I'll never... The complaint I hear the most from my friends with kids is that friends without kids say stuff like, "I'll never _____________!" It's usually about TV, food, bedtime, yelling or books, but without fail, the non-parent believes it.

• "My kids will never throw a fit in the store."
• "I'll never quit my day-job to be a stay-at-home-parent."
• "I'll never give my child soda."

Maybe you won't do the things above, but you will surely do things you never dreamed of. That's parenting. Stuff happens.