New Survey Shows That Dads Are Committed And Conflicted

According to a new survey of nearly 1,000 fathers by the Boston College Center for Work & Family, today’s fathers...
According to a new survey of nearly 1,000 fathers by the Boston College Center for Work & Family, today’s fathers DO want to share equally in the duties of raising their children, but most say that they ARE NOT doing that. Color. Me. Shocked. I'm sure most of us (the women anyhow) already know that men aren't helping out much. I guess it's a nice thought, that dads would like to help out, but it's soooooo hard to care. If dads really care this much, maybe they should quit talking about it and start acting on it. In my entire life, I've known maybe two dads who can handle all the day-to-day child raising as well as their female partner, and only one dad who does more on a daily basis than his wife. Sorry dads, and dad supporters, but seriously, I just brought this question up on Facebook, for another site I write for, and the answers hit too close to home. I asked, "Do you feel like you do more work around the house than your male partner? And I don't just mean housework, I mean stuff like providing emotional support and covering the little things, like who is brushing their teeth or wearing sunscreen?" Moms chimed in with tons of, "Yeah, I do way more" answers. One or two moms pointed out that their partners didn't even know where the diapers were kept - which yes, is stupid sad. Very few moms said they were getting enough help around the house. Even if you'd never seen the report above or this Facebook question, if you have any female friends with kids, it's obvious that the male partners (boyfriends, husbands and ex-partners) often slack on parenting and household duties. It's the number one complaint I hear from female mama pals. More about this new study: Dad findings are based on a national survey of 963 working fathers with at least one child age 18 or younger, who work for one of four Fortune 500 companies. The majority of fathers in the study were married (88%) or living with a partner (3%). The survey showed that...
  • Fathers have a strong desire for career advancement.
  • Fathers say job security is the most important job characteristic by fathers.
  • The majority of fathers are satisfied with their work, but oddly, only only 16% said that most of their interests were centered on work.
  • Most fathers want to advance further in their career.
  • Fathers who spend more time with their children say they are more confident as parents.
  • Few fathers took more than two weeks off after the birth of a child.
  • A significant majority of fathers say that the most important responsibilities to their children include both caring for them and earning money to support them.
  • Fathers reported that work caused more conflict with family life than family life caused conflict with work.
[caption id="attachment_13151" align="aligncenter" width="485" caption="Shown above - Six Aspects of Being a Good Father"][/caption] The study authors say, "Interestingly, “do your part in the day-to-day childcare tasks” was the lowest rated attribute of being a good father." In fact, 57% of dads felt that their job keeps them from being able to get everything done at home each day. How men feel about themselves as dads: Most of the fathers wanted to spend more time with their children, but still exhibited confidence in their role as parents. For example, check out the dads answers below.
  • 90% of respondents said that they were confident in their ability as parents.
  • 93% of respondents agreed/strongly agreed that they were proud of what they do (for their children) as parents.
  • 93% of respondents also agreed that with the statement that “Sacrificing for my children is part of parenthood.”
So, in the end, dads want to raise their kids right and help out more at home. The problem is that this isn't happening and that making that actually happen could take, well, work on the dad's part. Tell me what you think. What do you think is stopping men from being more present as a father and partner? + THE NEW DAD: Caring, Committed and Conflicted

Tags: becoming a dad better dads build active fathers dad bonding

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