"We'll Never Be Rested"

Josh Stearns and Erica Carlson rewrote the lyrics to Lorde's "Royals" to include a humorous slant for exhausted parents of young kids. If swaddles, white noise and sleep strategies are part of your regular vocabulary these days, this is the song for you.

A song for sleepless new parents

Your eyes are blurry, you feel like an extra from The Walking Dead (which sadly you can't watch anymore since it gives your toddler nightmares) and you're chugging coffee like it's water in the Sahara.

What are you?

A new parent.

Fortunately there's a new tune made just for you.

Josh Sterns and Erica Carlson rewrote the lyrics to Lorde's "Royals" from the perspective of overtired parents of young children.

Singer/songwriter Lisa Hillary recorded their lyrics and the result is an awesome track you'll love.

And totally relate to.

Listen to the tune on Josh Stern's website and check out the lyrics below:


Lyrics by Josh Stearns and Erica Carlson

I never set my alarm clock anymore
I wake up before the dawn, I get up early
And I’m not proud of my outfit
It’s 3 a.m.
And the baby’s screaming.

And every minute’s like diapers, Thomas, splashin’ in the bathtub
Juice stains, snack traps, screamin’ in the minivan
They don’t care, we can’t remember the last time we dreamed
But everybody’s like swaddles, white noise, sleeping with your baby
Warm milk, rocking, let them cry it out now
We don’t care, we haven’t slept in a couple years.

We’ll never be rested (rested)
Now that we have kids
That kind of luxe just ain’t for us
We gotta find a different kind of buzz
I drink my coffee (coffee), you can call me sleepy
And baby I’ll sleep (I’ll sleep, I’ll sleep, I’ll sleep)
Let me live that fantasy.

My friends say that they have cracked the code
They sleep in to 8 a.m., and go to parties
And everyone who knows us knows, that were losing it
We look like zombies.

And every minute’s like diapers, Thomas, splashin’ in the bathtub,
Juice stains, snack traps, screamin’ in the minivan,
They don’t care, we can’t remember the last time we dreamed
But everybody’s like swaddles, white noise, sleeping with your baby
Warm milk, rocking, let them cry it out now
We don’t care, we haven’t slept in a couple years.

We’ll never be rested (rested)
Now that we have kids
That kind of luxe just ain’t for us
We gotta find a different kind of buzz
I drink my coffee (coffee), you can call me sleepy,
And baby I’ll sleep (I’ll sleep, I’ll sleep, I’ll sleep)
Let me live that fantasy.

(Ooh ooh oh)
Our kids have so much energy
They’re runnin’ circles around me
(Ooh ooh oh)
So you’re sleeping without a care
We aren’t caught up in your love affair.

We’ll never be rested (rested)
Now that we have kids
That kind of luxe just ain’t for us
We gotta find a different kind of buzz
I drink my coffee (coffee), you can call me sleepy,
And baby I’ll sleep (I’ll sleep, I’ll sleep, I’ll sleep)
Let me live that fantasy.

More resources for new parents

Why you shouldn't aim for parenting perfection
Dealing with mommy guilt
Romantic at-home dates for new parents

Tags: humor

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