You Can Do Both!

When you have your first baby, you can't imagine that anyone could care for him the way that you do. And you certainly can't imagine that one day you will have to leave that small, helpless child and return to the 9 to 5 job that just months ago was one of the most important things in your life. But, if you're like many women with small children, at least part of your day is spent working outside of the home. And when you do return to work, whatever your childcare situation, you may feel guilty and uneasy about your decision. What you should realize is that these feelings are normal, and that you can work through them without sacrificing your role as a mother or a worker.
Jan Wilson

"When I went back after Sophie was born, I think the feeling would best be described as 'it's unfortunate that I have to work.' I felt 'less-than,'" says Darci Cramer-Benjamin, a family therapist in Buffalo, New York. "I had a hard time seeing all the positives for her. I knew I wasn't a stay-at-home mother, so I knew the positives for myself, but I felt like I was somehow doing her a disservice."

Linda Mason, author of The Working Mother's Guide to Life: Strategies, Secrets, and Solutions (Three Rivers Press, 2002), and co-founder of Bright Horizons Family Solutions, a leading provider of employer-sponsored child care, says that working mothers have no reason to feel guilty if they've found quality caregivers for their children.

Find quality care
"The first thing to make sure is that you have found excellent care for your baby. No mom can feel good about working if you are worried about your child during the day. Conversely, if you know your baby is with a caring, experienced caregiver, you will know she/he will be getting important love and attention. Being a devoted, loving, good mom does not depend on being with your baby 24/7. After all, throughout the ages, moms were very busy while having babies," she says.

Christi Craig, a research administrator for a large private university in Atlanta, says it's important that mothers don't let their feelings get in the way of providing financially for their children.

"I have never felt an instant of guilt for not staying home with my children. I have to provide for my children just like their father does, so staying home was never a consideration for either of us. I'd feel guilty if I weren't supporting them. "It's also important that my children learn to love and trust other people besides their parents. And the more people they love, and who love them in return, the better we all are."

Inevitably, working mothers will encounter others who have made different decisions and don't believe that mothers with young children should work. It can be very difficult to tune out criticism of your parenting style, but Mason says you shouldn't get discouraged by people who disparage the fact that you work outside of the home.

"You can say, 'I'm very devoted to my baby and love every minute I am with her. I do need to work, and enjoy being productive in the work world. We have a wonderful caregiver who also adores her. It is clear when looking at my baby that she is thriving surrounded by all this love and attention.'"

Even after getting over the hurdle of returning to work, mothers sometimes note that they that they can't "afford" to take any time for themselves. Doing so creates another area in which they feel they are letting their families down.

"The worst is trying to find time for myself. I have a hard time separating time I spend at work which is without them and time I spend for myself which is without them," Benjamin-Cramer says. "I feel more often than not that I don't have a right to time to myself, because I'm away at work, so how can I take MORE time away for myself? That's the biggest problem/guilt I have now -- the guilt isn't about working anymore at all, it's about any time I want to take for myself."

Shannon, a graduate student in Virginia who didn't want her surname used, and mother of two children, says that mothers also should understand that career goals may have to be adjusted in light of family responsibilities.

"My guilt has largely been mitigated by understanding that work is not my identity. Work is what I do so that I can raise a family," she says. "Whether or not you want to go back to work, the stark fact is that responsible mothers are capable of supporting themselves and their children both materially and emotionally. It takes critical thinking and hard work to arrange your life so that all the essentials are covered," she


recommended for you


henryjwd August 03, 2014
2 Features That Technical Writing Shares With Screenplay

<br Beats Pro By Dre /><br Beats Game Tron />On a hot summer working day, Beats Pro Diamond you can consider some tropical fruits as a refreshing lunch Beats ColorWare Beats Studio NHL snack.So how would these new cells have what's in the old ones?With the right content, even if the sales outside are frightful, your revenues can still be delightful.Nevertheless, you will will need to be the judge <a href=>Cheap Monster Headphones For Sale</a> and determine if that style of dance instructor will be perfect for you.Regardless of whether it is purchasing, or office will allow us come to feel quite cozy.You could also wear it if you want to do outdoor skating.As an example, Jordan bridesmaid dresses occur within a broad selection of types suitable from basic, informal, elegant to trendy.Sofia airport shuttle service is in place to hook up manchester airport together with down-town Sofia and Lyulin (biggest residential location in Sofia) with sensible fare.TTWith the Karani, you can fail to remember about your aching joints and just target on carrying out the finest occupation you can possibly do.Each sort of boot is intended for a specific purpose, thus please use the right book for the proper scenario.TT There are more colorings which could go with good obtaining Beats Diesel VEKTR a males tee shirt this kind of since black skinny jeans aquiring a red-colored wrap or even jacket along with perhaps dim Beats Studio NFL as well as orange skinny jeans.

Although this is not in the literal sense, you from time to time wish you would.Below, we will outline a Beats Studio HD number of key points and tips to get you booked and out on the Beats Studio NBA water.RISD was graded among the finest Beats Solo Diamond schools online based on U.TTTo prepare your body best for a day focused <a href=>Cheap Beats Dr Dre</a> on fitness you must start your day <a href=>Cheap Beats Solo HD </a> out right.There are things you need to do to get people to buy from you online.TTHaving strong core muscles is very important.The trick to smooth wedding planning is staying abreast of every little detail.They are also susceptible to rotting and warping which would call for substitution.Necessary Elements In worldwide brands In The UKIf you own Beats Studio Ferrari and run a dentist, and want an excellent piece of marketing assistance that will serve your business well for a really long time, then provide a fast study to the nugget.TTIf you have a fashion expert in your midst, consult with them whenever you can.The fine saw dust Beats Studio MLB is wood.With that in Beats Studio Diamond mind, get out there, and try your hand at this legendary game.Hold Things In Order Through Perth Carpet CleaningBlack suede prolonged segment of the coat minimal-crucial display its noble good quality, concise style, permeated with the unique design skills, intelligent Beats Beats Studio New Style Inspiration use of black and Beats Snakeskin HD Beats Mixr By Dre white strike coloration, spectacular alterations in the visible, inspire never experienced before.

2 Features That Technical Writing Shares With Screenplay WritingTTAsk a potential carpet cleaner for references.Aerial Photography Compared to Satellite Imagery - Has Satellite Imagery Changed Beats In-Ear By Dre Aerial Images?Copy writing does make a difference!Also don't forget to carry identification and a mobile phone in circumstance Beats Transformer of an unexpected emergency.TTChoose appropriate accessories to match your ensemble.Again, synthetic is better than cotton for your base layer.If you put enough thought into your garden, you will enjoy more impressive results.Wear tops that hang loosely around your middle and balance them <a href=>2014 Cheap Beats Dr Dre</a> with skinny Beats Studio Limited jeans or other clothing that accentuates your best feature.Regardless of the truth that some of these items have names of other Beats Solo HD places, the variations are New York by way of and via.The reality is that most globe stations now supply an online service that can be accessed on the internet.T<br Beats Studio Graffiti />To target your quadriceps, do leg extensions.Proper dental care is crucial.How Do Lipotropic Injections Work?Motive a great number of folks use flash memory cards.Shopping on the web for sizeable ladies garments is by far the greatest way to go.